The Old Coot loves his bracelet

By Merlin Lessler —

I was with my young friend Scotty the other day. He’s a kid, just became eligible for Social Security this past year. He noticed the black bracelet on my wrist. 

“What’s that all about,” he asked. I told him what it was: “Your-wife- doesn’t- have- to- report- you- missing-after- you- crash- on- your bicycle and conk- out – when – an – ambulance- takes- you- to- the- hospital- and – you- don’t- come -home- bracelet.” 

Mine provides my name, address, and my wife’s cell phone number. 

I used to carry around a business card wrapped in clear plastic tape with her number on it when I swam laps at the college pool. It kept floating out of my pocket, and the lifeguard would hand it to me when I got out of the water, with a huge grin on his face. 

Now, I have a medical alert bracelet with a nylon strap that doesn’t come off in the pool, when I’m on a walk, or on a bike ride. You never know when you’re going to need it if you’re an old coot.

My friend Paul from Michigan passed out on the beach in Florida two years ago. He didn’t have any ID on him. Who does when they take a little walk on the beach in a bathing suit? Fortunately for him, he was only out for a few minutes and asked the ambulance to stop at his hotel so he could tell his wife where he would be spending the afternoon.

Knowing how cool, calm, and collected he is, he probably just said, “I’ll be at the hospital and might not be home for dinner.” They kept him for several days, spacing out a series of tests so they could maximize his medical bill. 

My bracelet is so light and unobtrusive that I hardly notice it. It cost me about $15 online at Amazon, including the engraving. It’s so much better than having your family going from ER room to ER room in all the nearby hospitals, or worse yet, from morgue to morgue to identify one of the “John Does” in the cooler. 

Well worth the price. Even for a cheapskate old coot like me.  

Comments? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.