I was on a cruise ship, sailing from Civitavecchia, Italy across the Atlantic to Fort Lauderdale, Florida. When I was approaching a set of glass doors I spotted an old guy coming toward me from the other side. Not only old, but also drunk, from the looks of him. He listed to the right, staggered ahead a few feet and then listed to the left. Sure, the ship was rocking a bit, some swells were in the 10 to 15 foot range, and so all us passengers had some difficulty walking in a straight line. But, this guy was all over the place.
As I got closer to the glass doors I started to plan a route to avoid a collision, but every time I went to my right he staggered to his left. We seemed to be in perfect sync. When I was ten feet from the door I got a rude awakening. I wasn’t approaching a set of glass doors; they were mirrored doors. It was me I’d been watching, thinking it was some old drunk.
Now I know why some of the people on the ship turned around and went the other way to avoid me looking like a drunk old coot. I was cold sober when I confronted myself in the mirror. I admit I have balance issues, caused by neuropathy in my lower legs and feet that causes those nerves to trick my brain, telling it I’m tilting to the left when actually I’m not leaning at all. The brain listens to the signals from my feet and makes a correction by pushing me to the right.
So, I’m a little challenged when it comes to walking in a straight line; when you add a ship that rocks back and forth you get a drunk looking guy, staggering down the hall. I’m okay, now that I’m back on solid ground. The listing walk pattern is not that noticeable, especially if I’m carrying a walking stick to use as a reference point – it tells my brain to chill.
If you confront me walking around town, don’t be afraid of the drunk coming your way. Look at my T-shirt that says, “I’M 80 – AND NOT DRUNK!”
Comments, complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.
Be the first to comment on "The Old Coot meets his match"