The Old Coot goes shopping

A reader (Terry) brought an interesting phenomenon to my attention. “If you want to know how someone drives, watch how they push a grocery cart.” They ram into other carts, don’t slow down for intersections and, heaven forbid, if you get in their way of getting to the last package of their favorite cookies you just might feel their cart ram into the back of your legs.  

I did some research on my own. This is what I observed about grocery store manners that end up on the highway. A “wide walker” set my pace. He moseyed along in front of me. He wasn’t wide, but his walking style was. When he stepped with his right foot he went way to the right and then did the same when he stepped with his left. It was like walking behind a waddling duck. And that’s another thing, what is it with people who insist on walking side by side? They clog up progress down the aisle more than anything.

If it isn’t a wide walker then it’s a “weaver” who hinders my progress. You know the type; they push their cart along in a coma like state. When you try to pass on the left, they weave in front of you. If you go to the right, they beat you to the open lane. It’s why I think the carts should be equipped with a horn. 

If the stores were required to have the carts “inspected” by an authorized mechanic every year it would solve another of my shopping cart problems, getting one with a bent wheel, the kind that won’t go in a straight line. It constantly goes at an erratic angle so that you have to jerk it back into the “driving” lane. I hate it; it makes people think I’m a “weaver” – they yell and throw things at me as I wind my way through the store. If there were horns on the carts they could just toot and I’d let them pass.

If cell phone laws against using a phone while driving applied to drivers of shopping carts it would improve my grocery shopping experience; the people who sail along in front of you yakking to a friend. (Who, in my mind, put down their phone hours ago, bored by the endless stream of chatter.) 

Anyhow, they sail along in front of you, loudly yakking into their phone and then come to an abrupt stop, causing you to do the same. Out in their car they text and sit motionless when the light turns green at a traffic light. And much worse, drive right over bicycle riders and pedestrians, and, of course, into passenger cars. Shopping cart behavior and automobile behavior are one in the same. Check it out and see if you don’t agree. 

Comments? (Be nice.) Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.