My friend John was in the hospital having a “procedure.” A procedure is the same thing as an operation, except they don’t knock you out as much. A procedure hurts, sometimes it hurts a lot, but when the doctor mentions the word procedure you think, “No big deal.” You’re wrong. It’s gunna feel awful.
Anyhow, John was in the hospital, and hurting. I texted to see how he was doing and signed off with, “If you need anything, just ask me.” That’s what I typed into the phone, but it changed the last part to, “Just FAST me.”
He replied, commenting on my error, but his phone changed FAST to FAAT. It made both of us look stupid, illiterate. I can’t afford any additional evidence of my senility. I provide enough of it on my own without having Auto-correct add to it.
It not only changes a word and hurts my image, but it also slows down my texting speed when I notice an auto-correct misstep and scroll back to fix it, losing my train of thought and forgetting the astute point I was about to make.
I’ve changed auto-correct to spell-correct several times, but somehow it reinstalls itself and keeps me looking stupid. I’ve even changed keyboards, but they, too, betray me and slip into an auto-correct mode without me knowing.
Sometimes I want to say “Ain’t”, to make a point. It tries to make me look good for a change, and replaces ain’t with isn’t. I go back to ain’t, but it fixes it again. It’s an arm wrestling match to get it to do what I want.
From now on if one of my articles doesn’t make any sense you’ll know it’s not my fault, auto-correct did it! That’s my story and I’m sticking TWO it.
PPs, John did finally get back to answering my offer to just ask, if he needed anything. He said, “Paint my house! You said anything.” From now on I’m going to call, not text.
Comments? Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.
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