Waking up with a new hope for each day, laying my head down at night knowing I did the best I could, and that it was enough, laughing with my child, working at a job that I absolutely love, as well as pursuing passions and goals I never thought were possible. These are just a few of my new realities each day that recovery has afforded me.
I could talk all about the despair and hopelessness that addiction brings to us, or the destruction of our families, and even to our society. What I am hoping for by writing this message is that it reaches those of you who already know the depths and extent of these realities.
So, what I will talk about is how recovery brings a new reality, we as addicts, only thought to be a lie by society or at minimum a life we would never know. I can remember so vividly sitting on my front porch with my best friend looking at all the people walking by who seemed to be happy and enjoying themselves as her and I were miserable, in pain, and usually plotting how to get our next fix. We thought there is no way that our current reality and the reality of all those seemingly happy people could be so different.
We convinced ourselves that they must be on drugs like us, or the joy they seem to have is fake because there is no way sobriety and happiness could go together hand in hand.
When I got sober and truly embraced recovery I was overwhelmed with a joy and hope I hadn’t felt in years, the first thing I wanted to do was share the news with my best friend that it is real and things can get better. Of course this didn’t happen all at once, it took work and a willingness to accept that what I once knew as a lie I told myself is now the truth recovery that I want to share.
Sobriety is the action we take and recovery is the life we start to live thereafter. My journey of recovery is not mine alone it is all about the loved ones, both family and friends, that said enough was enough when addiction ran my life and told me how proud they were of me when recovery ruled the day.
To all those still lost in the lies and pain of addiction, know that recovery is real and it is entirely possible; and to all those families struggling to love an addict, we hear you even when we can’t listen.
Recovery is a journey that never ends. It only takes us to new places, some hard, some easy, some painful, some filled with great joy; but at the end of the day we are no longer stuck with the lie that we are actually stuck.
Today I am free. Today I am in recovery.
If you or a loved one is looking for addiction support services, reach out to us through Tioga ASAP Coalition at (607) 223-4066, or message us on Facebook @TiogaASAP and we can help with phone referrals.