A Pastor’s Thoughts: Forgiveness

By Bruce Gillette, First Presbyterian Union Church, Owego —

The wonderful writer, Frederick Buechner, has some thoughtful questions for us to consider during Lent.

If you had to bet everything you have on whether there is a God or whether there isn’t, which side would get your money and why?

When you look at your face in the mirror, what do you see in it that you most like and what do you see in it that you most deplore?

If you had only one last message to leave to the handful of people who are most important to you, what would it be in 25 words or less?

Of all the things you have done in your life, which is the one you would most like to undo?

Which is the one that makes you happiest to remember?

Is there any person in the world or any cause that, if circumstances called for it, you would be willing to die for?

If this were the last day of your life, what would you do with it?” (Originally published in Whistling in the Dark and later in Beyond Words.)

On Ash Wednesday, March 5, Christians heard the words of Psalm 51. Marjorie Thompson, a gifted writer on spiritual practices, sees this ancient prayer as inspiring questions:

Where do we feel embarrassed or guilty about what we have done or left undone?

When have our immediate feelings led us into unkind words or actions?

Have we allowed others to influence us toward negative judgments of persons we do not really know?

Do we accept hearsay and gossip without checking facts?

Where does deceit have a hold on us, and how is it expressed in our lives?

Thompson has written a six-session study on forgiveness for groups that will be used at First Presbyterian Union Church in Owego on Monday evenings at 7 p.m. in person with a team of a dozen gifted teachers to lead the discussions, and on Thursday mornings at 9 a.m. online led by Pastors Bruce & Carolyn Gillette. Details and the handout for the first session can be found www.owegofpuc.org.

The Mayo Clinic has some helpful insights about what happens if you’re unforgiving; you might: bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience; become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present; become depressed or anxious; feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs; lose valuable and enriching your connection with others.

On the other hand, if you can practice forgiveness, the Mayo Clinic reports you can find you have healthier relationships, greater spiritual and psychological well-being, less anxiety, stress and hostility, lower blood pressure, fewer symptoms of depression, a stronger immune system, improved heart health, and higher self-esteem.

Forgiveness is not easy. Maybe this is why Jesus includes it in his simple prayer asking for God’s help: “Forgive us our debts/trespasses/sins (different words used in different translations) as we forgive our debtors/ those who trespass against us/ sin against us.”  

God can help us in Lent and throughout our lives.

(Bruce and his wife Carolyn Winfrey Gillette serve as pastors at the First Presbyterian Union Church in Owego.)