A Pastor's Thoughts: Grief and Gratitude

By Carolyn Gillette, First Presbyterian Union Church of Owego —

A few years ago, in the early fall, Bruce’s father had a serious illness and survived— but he needed months of cardiac rehab. Later that same fall, Bruce’s mother had a stroke and died a week later. That year, our family was stressed and grieving right around Thanksgiving. The same thing happened when my own parents died; each one of them died in the fall season— one at the end of October and one on Thanksgiving weekend.

I remember the first time we as a family were sitting at the Thanksgiving dinner table, now changed, very much aware of the “empty chair.” At the same time, we were having good conversations, cherishing family members, enjoying good food, and being comforted by our faith.

Was it really possible to feel all of those emotions— the bad and the good— at the same time? The answer is yes. We human beings can be simultaneously grieving and grateful. It is possible to be struggling with circumstances around us and still to say, “I am going to find reasons for joy today!” It is possible to be sad and, all the while, to look at the world through a more peaceful, comforting lens.

Many people are going through a time of stress right now. For some people, it’s because of the political climate that has sometimes damaged family relationships and friendships. Other people are wondering what the future holds on a variety of levels. Still, others are experiencing illness, loss of a loved one, a job change, or financial struggles. We can have all these stresses and challenges and still find joy that God is present— loving us and calling us to love all of our neighbors out there.

I am a hymn writer as well as a pastor. Here is a hymn I wrote celebrating the many blessings that are ours, even in challenging times.

All of Life is Filled With Wonder

HYMN TO JOY 8.7.8.7 D (“Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee”)

All of life is filled with wonder, so we thank you, God of love–

For the crash of evening thunder, clearing clouds, then stars above;

For the night that turns to glowing as we feel the morning mist,

God, we praise and thank you, knowing every day we’re truly blessed.

For the joy of daily waking, for the gift of each new day,

For the smell of fresh bread baking, for the sound of children’s play,

For the ways we seek to serve you as we work and volunteer,

God we humbly praise and thank you for your presence with us here.

For the ways we’re blessed with plenty—love and laughter, neighbors, friends,

Nature’s wonders, seasons’ bounty, life in you that never ends,

For the ones who’ve gone before us, giving witness to your way–

We rejoice in all you give us every moment, every day.

For your love in times of trouble, for your peace when things are tough,

For your help when hardships double, for your grace that is enough,

For a stranger’s gentle kindness, for a doctor’s healing skill—

God, we thank you that you bless us, and you bless your world as well.

For the baby in the manger, for the cross and empty tomb,

For each time a searching stranger finds at church a welcome home,

For your kingdom’s great surprises—poor ones lifted, lost ones found–

God, we thank you! Hope still rises, for your gifts of grace abound.

Email carolynshymns@gmail.com or visit www.carolynshymns.com. The website includes an interfaith version of this hymn.

What is your story? What are the challenges you see around you? Take time and find space to look for the good, and share that “good” with someone else. One of the best ways to find joy during the holidays, or anytime, is to find someone to help. Many people make it a habit to “do a kindness” for a neighbor or a stranger on Thanksgiving Eve or Thanksgiving Day. What will you do to bring love, peace, compassion, and kindness to someone you meet? Loving your neighbor is an act of faith— that the world is good, that relationships are worth struggling for, that God’s love is strong.

May God bless you this Thanksgiving.

Carolyn Gillette and her husband Bruce serve as the pastors for the First Presbyterian Union Church in Owego.