By Sister Chirya —
Two siblings, same family, same upbringing, same values instilled. Yet one becomes a pillar of the community, a beacon of hope, while the other struggles with addiction, lost in the shadows. One sibling chooses to honor their upbringing, to build upon the laid foundation. The other sibling chooses a different route, leading to darkness and despair.
We can’t say, “I turned out this way because of how I was raised.” We can’t blame our environment, our parents, or our past. It’s not about how we’re raised. It’s about the choices we make. It’s about the values we adopt and our current habits and sanskars we have formed in our past lives.
We have the power to choose our path, to create and forge our own destiny. It’s a reminder that our choices shape us, not just our circumstances. We can’t change our past, but we can shape our future. We can choose to rise above, to overcome, and to become the best version of ourselves.
Mother, I got my results for mock exams and it’s not good. The son expected to get a scolding from his mother; but to his surprise, his mother calmly said, “Okay. If you work hard you will be able to do good, and if not you have to repeat next semester. It’s up to you.”
The next day her daughter came to her and hesitatingly said, “Mother, I smashed the car.”
The daughter was scared the mother would get angry; but to her surprise, she said, “Okay. Take it to the car shop and get it fixed.”
Hearing such news the mother often reacted with negative emotions and irritation; but now suddenly she was changed.
Seeing this change, everyone got worried and thought something was wrong. They came to her and asked, “Is something wrong? Why are you acting so calm?”
The mother smiled and replied, “I realized my anguish, worrying, anxiety and stress doesn’t solve your problems, but aggravates mine. I realize I can only control myself and not judge or analyze too much. My job is to care, love and encourage you with good wishes. I needed to go within, and experience stillness, connect to God, surrender the situation, experience His love and power, and receive the right perceptions.
“The ability of being with people and yet withdrawing and not absorbing their energy protects me and helps to find creative solutions to problems. When I respond and act with the energy of peace others also become empowered.”
She continued, “I realized I can give you advice only if you ask, but it depends on you to follow or not, to solve your problems and find your own happiness. Whatever decision you take, its consequences good or bad, you will have to live with them.
“It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their own life. I am not responsible for the actions of anyone. Therefore, I should remain calm and let each of you solve your problems.”
Everyone at home was speechless. From that day on the family began to function better because everyone in the house knew exactly what it was they needed to do.
(Chirya Risely, of Owego, can be reached via email to bkchirya@gmail.com or chirya.risely@peacevillageretreat.org. Call [518] 589-5000 or visit www.peacevillageretreat.org for details of classes and retreats, and visit pv25.info for details on the Sept. 7 Spiritual Festival to celebrate Peace Village’s 25th Anniversary of spiritual service.)
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