The Old Coot is fixated on batteries

By Merlin Lessler —

I got to thinking about how simple life used to be before I caught the “Battery Worry Virus.” The only battery I was concerned about back then was the one in my car. 

I rarely gave it a thought, except years ago when I first started into adulthood and when the battery in my fifth hand, 1953 Ford convertible was an issue. I paid $60 for the car at an auction in the college cafeteria. I got it for the bargain basement price because it was buried under a mountain of snow in a parking lot. 

The battery, once it was fully charged, turned out to be weak, incapable of starting my car when overnight temperatures dropped down into the teens. I solved that problem by bringing it into my apartment on cold nights and putting it on the heat register. 

The car had other afflictions as well; no heater, no keys (I had to hot wire it to get it running), the motor to raise and lower the top was defunct, and the front fenders had more fiberglass compound in them than steel. But I loved that blue beauty. 

A car battery was the only battery I thought about most of my life. But, not anymore! My life has become inundated with battery worries. Just about everything I depend on is battery powered. I can’t even get in my car without the battery in my key-fob working properly. I have to plan my day around my cell phone battery. 

I’m at the mercy of battery operated devices; an I-Pad tablet, a computer, earbuds, electric razor, screwdriver, drill, lawn mower, leaf blower, toothbrush, garbage can lid opener, and even a dish detergent dispenser. Even my human powered bicycle is dependent on the batteries in my blinking safety lights.

More and more appliances have become battery dependent. I can’t even turn on our ceiling fan without a battery powered remote. Now “they” are trying to force me into a battery powered electric car that severely limits my driving range. I think my head will explode when that happens.

Comments? Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.