Some old coots (me especially) are messier than two-year-olds sitting in a highchair eating pasta; often with the bowl on top of their heads, and spaghetti cascading down around their face. The spaghetti head look!
Us old coots (me) often end up in a similar state – dribbling, dropping and spilling food and drink onto our surroundings and ourselves. Restaurants have to wash the table and mop the floor after we leave. But we don’t just leave a mess behind; we take it with us too.
We’re the kings of stain! Food slobs! Spaghetti sauce magnets! I crave for the days of the 50’s and 60’s when reversible clothes were in vogue. Splatter your crap! No problem, just slip into a restroom (kind of like Superman slipping into a phone booth) and turn it inside out. The same thing goes with reversible jackets and pants.
Instead we walk around, strategically placing our arms across our chests to hide the mess on our shirts. When we get home we sneak into the house and hide it in the back of the closet.
Thankfully today’s fashion is rife with torn and stained jeans and shirts. The kids buy them new, and at a pretty steep price; we pull them out of the back of our closets, for free. We have a whole wardrobe of torn and stained attire. It’s probably worth a fortune on the open market. We’re not hip on purpose; we’re fashionable because we’re “Unstained Clothing Challenged.” A condition for which there is no known cure.
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