The Old Coot is an ‘in-line’ dater

[By Merlin Lessler]

We didn’t have online dating when I was growing up; we had “in-line” dating, as in waiting in line to get the courage to walk over to a girl and ask her to dance or by getting “in-line” to cut in on a girl already dancing. 

When impatience with our courage ran out, we tapped on her partner’s shoulder, and even if he was going steady with her, etiquette required him to step aside and let you take over. The prettier the girl, the longer the line of guys wanting to cut in and have a chance to charm her, and by some Cupid miracle, ignite a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. We were so naïve.

I think the “cut-in” custom still exists, it’s just not used as often as it once was. Online dating has taken over the landscape, with participants using a mix of fact, fiction, and exaggeration in their personal profiles. Blatant lies and doctored photos as well. None of the latter two items ever results in a second date.

If my crowd (old coots) considered online dating and used honesty in our self-descriptions, our profiles would read something like this: old coot seeking a date – likes going places and doing things as long as he gets home before dark – only says, “ I used to,” or “I should have” three times an hour – has many friends and acquaintances, only a few of whom aren’t aware of that relationship – does good deeds but talks about them more than acts – is a great chef, as long as the microwave is working – looks at prices on the menu and picks the cheapest offering –  believes Elvis is still alive – is a night owl, sometimes stays up as late as 10 p.m.  – sleeps like a baby (up every three hours) – lives on the wild side, rides a two-wheeled bicycle without a helmet. Call this landline or mail a letter to this home address if interested.

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