The Old Coot engineers a solution

By Merlin Lessler —

I’m not an engineer. At least not with a four-year degree. I’m missing some credit hours. But, I am an “engineer,” with a small “e.” A lot of people are. Engineering is mostly a mindset, the ability to puzzle things out. A technical degree provides a deeper knowledge to work with; you need it to design a bridge or an electronic circuit. But for a lot of other tricky issues in life, you just need the engineering mindset.

That’s a lot of blah, blah to get me to the point. My greatest engineering accomplishment! It took place four years ago when I had a severe reaction to the cholesterol medicine I’d been on for years. I started to lose strength in my arms and legs, and didn’t really notice until the day I had trouble getting up a single stair. It’s all behind me now, the cause determined and eliminated; my strength is back to normal. (An 82-year old normal.)

When I was in that weakened state, I had to utilize my full range of engineering skills to address it. Especially if I fell or slipped to the ground. I became that “Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” person.

I slipped down several times when I was out on my own getting into the car. Once it was the garbage man who picked me up. Another time, it was a nice couple in a grocery store parking lot. The last time, it was a guy in a pick-up truck. I changed my technique; I started backing into the car seat, instead of stepping up and in. Duh! Took me long enough to figure that one out. Some engineer!

My real concern was getting off the floor at home. Even when my wife was with me, we sometimes had to get a friend to help. We went to a physical therapy center to see if there was a technique we could use. We spent an hour going through a laundry list of commonly used techniques. Nothing worked. I was too weak.

I was determined to come up with a solution. I spent one whole night in a recliner chair, straining my brain to find a solution. Thinking, dozing, dreaming. That’s when I made my greatest engineering feat. I had a plan.

Now, to try it out. I asked my wife to get a small cooler from the garage. She looked at me like I was nuts. I get that a lot. The cooler was slim, 6 inches in height when laid on its side. I lowered myself to the floor; I had sufficient arm strength to crawl towards it. I positioned it beside a lounge chair in the living room and managed to sit up on the floor and then on it.

From there, I pushed up another six inches and settled onto the chair. The height was too low for me to stand up, but the chair next to it, elevated on four-inch risers, was not. I slid across the first chair and ascended onto the second one. From there I got to my feet. I was so proud of myself. I’d regained my freedom. No more, “Help, I’ve fallen and can’t get up!” I could stay home alone; my wife also gained her freedom. This was truly my greatest engineering feat ever!

Comments, complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.