The Old Coot speeds along!

By Merlin Lessler —

I just cut my nails. I’m always surprised, it seems that I would just cut them. But no! It’s been weeks. Time goes so fast when you’re an old coot.

As you go through life, your “time passing” speedometer speeds up. It’s not fast enough when you’re young. A seven year old, sitting at the Thanksgiving table, thinks, “This might be the year I get a bicycle for Christmas.” So excited, until they hear their mother say to their father, “Where did the year go? Only four weeks until Christmas!”

Four weeks? That’s a lifetime to a seven year old – an eternity. You live for the future when you’re a young kid. And you can’t believe it when you graduate from high school. A surprise that the future snuck up on you and slapped you in the face.

Not us old coots. We live in the moment; unfortunately, not the present moment. We look longingly to the past. (Before the world went nuts. Ha Ha!)

We start many, too many, of our sentences with – I used to, I once could, when I was a kid, etc. The only people who will listen to topics introduced in this manner are other old coots, but only so they can chime in with their “good-old-days” tale.

Eventually our conversations turn to memory issues, since most of our reminisces are rife with – I forgot the name. What-cha-ma-call-it. Thing-a-ma-jig and the like. One of us will shift the conversation to a confession of the things he recently forgot.

“I put my wallet down when I came into the house; it was two days before I found it.”  Or, “I spent ten minutes yesterday searching for my glasses, my wife pointed out that they were on top of my head.”

Then comes the big liar in the group, claiming his memory is just fine. He shuts up when he’s told his shirt is on backwards and he forgot to put on one of his socks.

What’s all that got to do with time you might be asking at this point, especially if you are in your 40’s or 50’s, living on the cusp of old age. Well, you’ll get there too. It’s just a matter of time. Even now, your Time-Passing speedometer is edging over the speed limit.

As for me, my memory is excellent, I think, yet I wrote this a month ago and just discovered it in my notebook today.  

Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.