The Old Coot ‘pans’ mandatory holidays

By Merlin Lessler — 

I was having a bad day. It was late afternoon; I hadn’t run into anything to complain about. Then I tumbled right into it after searching a mile long aisle of cold medicines. 

I didn’t realize that cold treatments came in so many variations. When I was a kid, a jar of Vicks and cough drops did the trick. Mom applied Vicks to my chest and tied a rag laden with it around my neck and sent me off to school.

That cold aisle experience was a revelation, but not enough to register on my complaint meter. The next aisle did. 

A mile long rack of Valentine’s Day cards. A pressure cooker for most men. What should I do, or buy, to fulfill my Valentine’s Day obligation? Another celebratory holiday foisted on us by the greeting card, candy, florist, restaurant, and jewelry industry. 

It’s mandatory, these annual obligations created by commerce interests. Birthdays I get, anniversaries too. But, not the endless stream of guilt laden “special” days. Secretary’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Grandparent’s Day. On and on they go. 

You can be a thoughtless jerk all year long and use Valentine’s Day to get yourself off the hook. But if you are thoughtful and pleasant all year long and forget to buy a card for Valentine’s Day (and any number of other manufactured celebratory events), you’re apt to be called a thoughtless old grouch. 

Anna Jarvis, the woman who created Mother’s Day in 1908 and succeeded in getting it adopted as an official U. S. holiday in 1914, spent the later part of her life trying to remove it from the calendar because it had become so commercialized. She wanted it to be a day you did thoughtful things to thank your mother for all the sacrifices she’d made for you during the previous 364 days. 

But, back to the Valentine’s Day celebration, that so recently came and went. You might think I messed it up and am using this column to cover my tracks. No comment!

Comments? Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.