The Old Coot got it right on the button

By Merlin Lessler —

There is an odd quirk in the human psyche, we’re fussy about buttons. If you don’t button your shirt correctly, you’re in trouble! It’s a social misdemeanor to walk around in a misbuttoned shirt.

Alignment is important! “Oh my gosh! Your buttons are one off!” It freaks people out. Personally, I love seeing someone in a misbuttoned shirt. It makes them more like me and brings a smile to my face. I never bring it to their attention.

I’m not sure what sets people off when they see a shirt with buttons in the wrong holes, the lack of symmetry maybe? We like things to be symmetrical, like our face – two ears, two eyes, and nose in the middle, mouth directly below. It sets the standard for how we view the world. Put an extra eye in the middle of the forehead and we go nuts.

The Tucker Automobile Company made this mistake back in the 1940’s; they put a third headlight in the middle of the front hood. Even though their car was more advanced than any automobile at the time, the company went defunct in a few short years. Mismanagement? Or, was it that third “eye” in the middle of the hood? The Tucker was a misbuttoned shirt. 

It’s also not acceptable to skip a button. You’ll hear about it, “You missed a button there,” someone (many someone’s) will say, and then point to the infraction. It makes us uncomfortable.

Small boys and old coots are exempt from the “button-fussy” rules. Neither cares about button correctness. Nor, if they are wearing two different socks or two different shoes. 

The next time you see someone with misaligned shirt buttons; don’t give into the temptation to point out the mistake, just hand them a dollar bill and say, “Thanks! You made my day!” You’ll spend the rest of your day with a smile on your face; they’ll spend the day wondering, “What was that all about?”

Comments? Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.