The Old Coot was caught in a loop

I experienced “Infinity” the other day! In the doorway to a Dunkin Donuts – a double door set-up – an outer door separated from an inner door by a four-feet vestibule. I was coming in; another old guy was coming out. We both opened our doors at the same time. He stepped back, holding his door open and waved me in. I did the same.  

“You go,” I said, since he was an old guy. Then he said, “No, you go,” Thinking I was an old guy. We both held our doors open, amid a flurry of – You go – No, you go.

Our egos were fully engaged at that point. I wasn’t about to let some old guy hold the door for me. Neither was he! It was a clash of old man egos – old coot macho. You go, no you go, an unending, unwillingness to yield.  

A traffic jam built up behind us. People anxious to get in and out. Yet, this OLD JERK and I were in a battle of politeness. That’s when it hit me; I was trapped in a loop, a real world example of infinity, inching closer and closer to my goal, but never getting there. 

Finally, I gave up and let go of the outer door and walked in, while that STUPID STUBBORN, OLD FOOL escorted me through his door. No small matter that I was pushed forward by an angry mob, led by an irked woman armed with a 20-pound purse – cocked, loaded, and aimed at my head.  

On the way out, after buying my senior coffee, I held the door open for her. She bustled past me like an angry grizzly bear. She failed to say, “Thank you.” So, I raised my voice and sent a “You’re welcome” in her direction. She turned back and glared at me with a look that said, “You old goat; why don’t you get back to the nursing home where you belong.” 

It just goes to show; it doesn’t pay to be nice.      

Comments, complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com. 

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