The Old Coot takes a survey

You go to the doctor – you get a survey in the mail asking, “How did we do?” You buy something online – before you get what you ordered – you find a survey in your in-box. Survey! Survey! Survey! Corporate America is obsessed with surveys. If you give a bad review and take the time to describe the problem you encountered, you think you will get a call in an attempt to make things right. But, you don’t! The survey data, including the detailed feedback you provided just goes into a data base that the CEO uses to crow to the board of directors about the wonderful job he or she is doing to run a customer friendly company.  

Eventually, we’ll get a survey asking how we liked the survey. It’s so overdone, and just a PR move to make us think they care. Just like the recording you get when calling ANY corporation today and get shoved to the back of a long line that says, “All our representatives are busy at the moment; we’ll be with you shortly; your call is important to us.” Followed, with, “This call may be monitored.” I guess that is supposed to stop us from swearing at the clerk when we finally get connected. 

When I’m in a queue waiting to talk to a human, I picture a large group of call-takers sitting around in a break room, listening to me over a loud speaker, as I wait, cracking up when I get frustrated and start yelling, “Answer the darn phone,” along with other, (unprintable) rants, interspaced with, “Please, please get some music that isn’t so annoying that it makes me want to hang up.” (That probably is their intent. And, it works.)

This survey mania is out of control; it’s so bad that eventually muggers will hand you a survey as they run away with your wallet. The ATM machine will force you to tell it how it did, before it will return your card. It’s high time we stopped replying to corporate surveys. It’s the only way to stop the madness. If you agree, please let me know how well I did in convincing you too join, the “no survey” movement. Rate me on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being very well, and 1 being not at all.   

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