A visit with Mildred!

As this new year opened, I was pleased to discover that a window into nearly a century’s worth of Southern Tier history had opened as well.

Late in 2018, I received a voicemail from a woman who was hoping to gather some information about an elder service for her mom. When I phoned her back, it soon became clear that the caller, Mary Wheatley, had actually intended to contact not the wonderful organization that I am a part of (Tioga United Way), but a different impactful local nonprofit. As we were wrapping up our conversation, Mary mentioned that her mother had worked for Tioga United Way years ago.

“Wow!” I said. “I need to meet her!”

“Oh, that’s not necessary,” she replied.

“Yes,” I insisted, “it is.”  

I told Mary that we were in the midst of our Annual Giving Campaign and our biggest fundraiser of the year, Dancing United with the Starz, but that I would like to call her back when things had settled down. I finally got the chance to reach out to her again last month.

“My mother doesn’t really remember much about her time at the Tioga United Way,” Mary warned me. 

“That’s okay,” I said, and we set a date to meet.

Mary greeted me upon my arrival at her mother’s house. I was grateful to step out of the biting January cold and into a warm and welcoming home. Mary led me to the cozy living room where her mom, Mildred Walters, was comfortably seated in a wingback chair. Mildred’s nurse Beth sat on the couch nearby.  

“Hi there,” I said as I reached out to Mildred. It was a thrill to shake the hand of this 99-year-old woman who had once worked for the same organization that I am so honored to serve today.

“You should cut your hair,” she said. I laughed. Mary looked a little embarrassed.

“My mother says the same thing,” I replied.

During my visit, we spoke about Mildred’s life. She grew up in the Nichols area and Warren Center, but after getting married she moved to Owego where she and her husband built one of the first houses on Glen Mary Drive and raised two children. 

Her husband, George, who was artistic (Mary told me that her father had done the artwork for several of Owego Free Academy’s TOM TOM yearbooks), opened up a shop on Lake Street in Owego. He sold wallpaper, paint, shades, and office supplies. 

After Mildred and George retired, they spent their days traveling the world together. But decades prior, when her children were both in school, Mildred was looking for employment. She settled on a position with Tioga United Way and the Tioga Chamber of Commerce.

In Mildred’s day, the Tioga United Way and the Tioga Chamber of Commerce were both located on Front Street and were managed by the same director, who Mildred supported. 

At one point, I handed Mildred a token “LIVE UNITED” mug full of Hershey’s Kisses. She said, “Thank you, but I’m a diabetic.”

I laughed and said, “But surely, you can take a nibble at 99-years-old?”

She smiled.

It was clear that Mildred is content – both with her past and her present. She is proud of her children and her beautiful grandchildren.

Our visit made me think of several things, but above all, that life is full of surprises. The phone call that brought me to Mildred was a complete accident and yet, seemingly it was meant to be. I thought about how fortunate I was to have met Mildred, but also how fortunate she is.

Mildred’s children, who both live within 25 miles of their childhood home, take terrific care of her. They visit her throughout the week. They make certain that the care she receives from her nurse and six different aides is of the highest quality. 

But not everyone is as lucky as Mildred. That’s why agencies, such as the one she supported years ago, the same one that I serve today, exist. 

These organizations can fill a gap in elder care when adult children don’t live so close by. For example, we support nine senior citizen’s clubs that work hard to keep our seniors from feeling isolated and alone. We support agencies who provide the elderly with transportation – whether to a doctor’s appointment or to the grocery store. We support agencies that focus on helping our older neighbors become more technologically savvy so that they can learn to use a computer, or even learn how to navigate the social media networks that are all the rage with the kids these days. We also support several food pantries that can be a resource if someone’s Social Security check isn’t enough to make ends meet.

As I think back on my time with Mildred, I can only imagine the things that she has seen in her time – the nearly 100 years of societal shifts, fashion trends, political upheaval, scientific discoveries, and more. Who knows why we got the chance to meet? I prefer to believe that we were somehow “United” by our common experiences of helping those in need. 

My mom will tell you that it was because I needed another nudge to get my hair cut.

Carolyn Palladino is the executive director of Tioga United Way. You can learn more about the agency by calling (607) 687-4028, or online at www.tiogaunitedway.com.