I found myself listing to the left the other day. I noticed it as I walked across the street (jaywalking, of course) and saw my reflection in the window at Tioga Trails Cafe. I was on a tilt, about 15 degrees, like a ship in high seas, taking on water and about to capsize. This was yet another old coot affliction to come my way. My first episode of listing left.
It all started with a sore knee, a knee abused by years of jogging and weekend warrior activities at a time in my life when old age seemed a far off rumor. It flares up every once in a while and then gets better; no big deal if I just treat it kindly for a few days (A few weeks if I don’t behave.) The knee got me listing five degrees left. Then I slept wrong, putting my shoulder in a stressed state. It joined my knee in protest and my alignment adjusted to accommodate it. Now it was a ten-degree list.
My back didn’t like being pulled out of kilter because of my knee and shoulder, so it joined the chorus, increasing the angle of my lean to fifteen. This normally wouldn’t be a problem. “I’m a little crooked. So what?” I said to my self. I was like that old poem, “There was a crooked man, and he walked a crooked mile.” We recited it in third grade, back when memorizing poems was still a part of the curriculum in public schools. But there is a, “So what!” Listing to the left can set you up for a fall. If you step off a curb with your left foot your weight shifts too far in that direction and if you aren’t ready for it, down you go. An old coot lying in the gutter.
You would think that one fall would be enough to get a person to avoid stepping down with their left foot, but old coots reside in a state of denial and push any affliction out of their conscious mind. It takes several falls and a score of close calls before we adjust. Eventually, my knee got better, the shoulder returned to normal and the sore back went away. Presto! I’m standing straight again. As straight as an old coot can anyhow. I gloat a little and brag to my self, “I won another one!” I know something new will come my way; it’s just a matter of time. But that’s part of the fun, the adventure of living in an old coot body. Might as well enjoy it.
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