Being Alone, Not Lonely; The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love; you get to know yourself and God better

By Sister Chirya —

Loneliness is considered to be one of the largest public health challenges we face. In 2022, a study in the UK showed that almost half (49.63% of adults, totaling 25.99 million people) reported feeling lonely from time to time.

Loneliness affects health.

Behavioral – Health-risk behaviors occur, such as smoking and physical inactivity.

Psychological – A decline in mental health due to having more time alone to ruminate on worries and negative thoughts, losing confidence in the ability to socialize, lower self-esteem, and not talking about how you feel.

Physiological – Increase in risks of the following: Early mortality by 26%, 29% increase in coronary heart disease, 32% increase in stroke, high blood pressure, and reduced immunity against infections.

Enjoying spending time on your own doesn’t mean you become lonely. You do have friends, but you just like being alone and have less need for socializing than others. It gives you a chance to talk to yourself. In fact, being alone is a necessity. You get to know yourself better than anyone. It feels like taking a breath of fresh air.

Blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge. If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself.

Know the value of developing a friendly relationship with your mind, as it always keeps company with you! I must rule my mind by keeping it clean and clear, or my mind will rule me!

When I am alone in the silence of inner quietness, my mind also quiets down, and my ability to think and decide clearly increases. ‘Listening in’ to check and change your thoughts creates constant, pure feelings for yourself and others, a very high stage to reach in the world as it is today, but possible!

You are courageous and confident, have strong willpower, are open-minded, and look at the bright side. Being alone helps us not to attach or be dependent on others, but to grow a deeper sense of self-reliance, self-trust, and self-esteem. I have the time to look at myself, to appreciate my inner beauty, and remember how special I am.

 

“Learn to like yourself since you must spend so much time with yourself; you might as well get some satisfaction out of the relationship.” — Norman Vincent Peale.

Being alone helps us become aware of our true identity as a soul, an eternal spiritual being radiating light. I, the soul, create thoughts and reside within the brain separate from the human body.

To become soul-conscious, practice by thinking, “I, the living light, the soul, am looking from behind the windows of my physical eyes.”

“The eyes are the windows of the soul” is well-known and accepted by many. Hold this consciousness for several moments.

We never feel alone when we teach our mind to talk to God and maintain a link of communication with Him. Transformation of the self and the world comes from keeping God’s company. We feel very good knowing and appreciating what God has helped us to achieve.

(Contact Yvonne Chirya Risely at bkchirya@gmail.com or chirya.risely@peacevillageretreat.org. To register for ongoing meditation classes and retreats, call [518] 589-5000.)