Remembering loved ones during the holiday season

The holiday season can put a strain on families as well as household budgets; it can also be a time when those who have lost someone often grieve, an empty chair now sits at the table. 

One website designed for dealing with grief, wrote, “This season, day-to-day life is still upended by the pandemic, and so many of us are struggling with loss. You can’t outwit sadness with holiday cheer, but meeting grief head-on and embracing it can help.”

Anyone who survived the holidays while dealing with grief is now familiar with the struggles it can bring. 

I recall the first holiday I experienced following my mother’s passing in 2015, and how it seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks, emotion-wise. 

While I was struggling with my grief, the phone rang and it was an old friend, Phil Jordan from Candor. He had a work related question and then he asked, “How are you?” 

I couldn’t hide my grief, and Phil told me that my mother would be happy if I changed my mind about the holidays, and maybe even decorated a bit.

I did that exactly that, and I embraced the fact that although my loved one’s were not physically present, they were always with me, and in my heart. 

There are many organizations out there that offer ways for people to remember and honor their loved ones during the holidays. 

During the month of December, as in past years, the Tioga Friends of Hospice in support of Hospice West at Lourdes, and headed up locally by Gary Jones, invited the community to participate in their ‘Memorial Tree of Lights.’ 

This 20-year project has become a tradition within the community, and with trees located in Apalachin, Barton, Berkshire, Candor, Campville, Newark Valley, Nichols, Owego, Richford, Spencer, Tioga Center, Waverly, Lockwood and Willseyville being lit throughout the holiday season.

Each year well over 1,000 names are memorialized on the trees, and throughout the month of December the names are listed in The Owego Pennysaver’s print edition. This year we will have the names posted online as well for those out of town that sent in a memorial; you can view the names here! 

In Newark Valley, the Village Green was lined with trees decorated by local businesses and families, and sponsored by the Newark Valley Historical Society. Many of the trees contained memorials and remembrances, messages of love. 

The lawn of the Richford Graded School House became illuminated with about two-dozen trees decorated by local organizations and families, and sponsored by the Northern Tioga Chamber of Commerce. 

Lightings were held around the communities, in traditional fashion, memorializing loved ones.

To learn more about Friends of Hospice of Tioga County and the many services they offer to the community, you can visit them online at www.tiogafriendsofhospice.org. You can also email to gjones56@stny.rr.com or call (607) 687-2835 for more information.

You never have to deal with grief alone, or as The Friends of Hospice say, “Share with us the Joy of Remembering.”