Paul J. Cavataio is remembered. (Photo from www.emfaheyfuneralhome.com)
On Dec. 19, 2014, Paul J. Cavataio, age 98 of Candor, passed away peacefully. Cavataio was both pre-deceased and survived by family members.
Following Paul J. Cavataio’s funeral held on Dec. 23, remembrances of Paul J. Cavataio’s life were made by Ralph Kelsey at the reception.
According to Kelsey, Paul J. Cavataio was born to immigrant parents, and served in World War II where he earned five Bronze Stars for bravery, a Purple Heart offered to those killed or wounded in action, and was a symbol of courage and dedication in the face of mortal danger.
Paul J. Cavataio was a community minded man that operated the farm equipment store in Candor for 35 years, and was a director of Tioga State Bank for three decades and until his passing, Director Emeritus.
If you look at the obituary in the newspaper or on-line it appears to be short, maybe even small and some might say such of Paul J. Cavataio’s physical stature; but this man, in the eyes of most, the man behind the obituary was a giant of a man, great man, a good man who left behind a legacy for all of us to remember. His legacy may not be written down in history books, but a legacy never to be forgotten within our hearts.
My name is not Cavataio, Jantz nor Oliver, but I am one of you. I may not know all of you well, but to me, as to so many others, Paul J. Cavataio was more than a friend, Ralph Kelsey added.
As Jim Raftis Sr. shared earlier, Paul was a brave man during the war and for Jim’s comments we are grateful. Paul’s bravery and courage was not only displayed in times of war, but in his everyday life as well, being a good friend.
Proverbs 17:17 “A good friend loves at all times.”
Paul J. Cavataio was a good mentor; was a great example; was an excellent advisor; was a practical teacher of everyday life who loved his family and “friends” at all times, regardless of their challenge or station in or of life.
In him being a good friend he was a peacemaker. He could take the steam out of a boiling teapot by calmly saying “Don’t get too excited, for this too shall pass”.
As a young community banker there were a number of instances over the years when Merlin Lessler (The Old Coot) Ralph Kelsey would be angry, upset, discouraged and perplexed.
And he would look up and out of his office door in the lobby of the Candor bank, and there would be Paul grinning from ear to ear with that soft, subtle smile and saying; “Now Ralph, don’t get too excited, this too shall pass.”
He would remind Kelsey not to burn any bridges, not to take on the world, because he didn’t need to win this particular battle, he was in, to win the war. And if you thought the greatest deal of all time had come along and you couldn’t live without closing it; he would calmly say, “Ralph, don’t get too excited, because there will be a new deal or opportunity tomorrow.”
In those years Kelsey had the good fortune of driving around the countryside appraising real estate and calling on bank customers with Paul. And it was during those times Paul would share a few of his personal experiences like stories of his immigrant parents, tales of his moving to the Owego area and working for Endicott Johnson’s, and how during the war he left camp and had a reunion with an “old country” relative who was driving a donkey and cart down an empty street of the town his family immigrated from.
He would also talk of how his commander, having given him permission, chewed him out for leaving camp, when he knew all along where he had gone; and said to Paul upon his return from his second visit to town, “Cavataio, you ought to be court marshaled,” because the troops had been given orders to move out.
Kelsey also talked of how he fixed juke boxes and owned a restaurant (not a bar), how he met Cleo and started a family, how he started and operated the farm equipment store, and what I heard through all of those stories was a description of a man who had character, who was humble and knew right from wrong. A man that practiced and shared with his friends and family, the “Fruits of the Spirit”.
Fruits of the Spirit described in Galatians 5:22-23; is love, joy, peace, and patience; kindness, goodness and faithfulness; and gentleness and self-control.
Do these words describe or remind you of someone you knew? Do these words describe Paul Cavataio, a good friend? A good man who believed in the living God.
Kelsey remembered over the years his sharing of war stories. The number of times he spoke of them was few, and the length of time he would speak of the war was usually brief and ended with “boys, that’s enough of that”. But one could get brief glimpses into who Paul really was and what he was made of.
He shared only once of his being wounded in Italy; he spoke a few times about the experiences he had in North Africa, the fox holes, the wet socks and soaked and rotted boots, the shortage of food, the cold miserable conditions they had to live in and a few of the terrible things he had seen; but at the end of a number of these stories he would always say, “Ralph, remember there are no atheists in a fox hole”.
Paul trusted and looked to the living and true God to get him home to carry on his legacy, his purpose in life.
Kelsey believes with all of his heart that Paul trusted the living God that we celebrated the birth of last week; he not only trusted Him in that fox hole, but throughout each and every day of his life. He believed and trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ as he raised his family operated his business, because he lived by and shared the “fruits of the Spirit” with his friends.
Romans 8:28 says: “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Neither Paul’s birth, the events of his life, nor his death happened by chance or luck. Paul’s life was for God’s purpose. Not mine, but God’s purpose. For His glory whether we want to believe it or not.
And through Paul we were blessed by God’s purpose for him.
God’s plan for Paul was for him to be born of immigrant parents who moved to America, to fight in WWII, to raise a family and operate a business in Tioga County, to be community minded and committed, to be on the bank board, to carry on the Cavataio legacy through Paul and Carol, Christine and Jack, and Mellissa and Giovanni.
“I have been honored and blessed to know this giant of a man, who was a ‘good’ friend and so much more to me,” added Kelsey.
