The Old Coot says it never ends

By Merlin Lessler —

Once a bureaucracy enacts a rule or regulation, it’s set in stone. We all run into stupid rules that no longer make any sense. Take the FAA, for example. They force the airlines to demonstrate how to fasten a seatbelt before a plane can take off. Other stuff too, but the seat belt demonstration is the worst. If anyone on a plane can’t handle a seatbelt, they need to take a bus. Besides, the guy next to you can do a better job; the first step is to stop sitting on it. 

The seatbelt alarm in cars has outlived its usefulness. Most of us have adopted a “buckle-up practice,” even those of us who fought it when it was first mandated. It’s now second nature, and it feels uncomfortable not to have that belt snuggling us in. But I ignore the alarm when I pull up to a drive-in window. The first thing I do is unfasten my seatbelt to squirm around to get my wallet out of my pocket and to reach out the window to get my order and avoid spilling the drink because they don’t always put the top on right.

At an ATM, I do it to get a good grip on the cash and not have to chase it down the driveway. The other times I get caught by the seat belt nagging is when I put a heavy item on the passenger seat that awakens it from slumber.  

How about the TSA, treating us like the Soup Nazi treated his customers on the Seinfeld TV show? They are bureaucratic bullies extraordinaire, ordering passengers to remove belts, shoes, sweaters, and coats before passing through an X-ray shower stall. Us old guys are exempt, one of the few perks of turning 75. 

But really? After 25 years of shoe removal because a shoe bomber tried to pull a fast one and failed. But he didn’t fail; millions of people have to hop around in their socks every year before passing muster. Getting through the TSA gauntlet is more stressful than flying five miles above the earth at hundreds of miles per hour in a seat designed for a child. Especially if your face is red because your beltless pants fell down when you stepped into the metal detector.  

But it will never stop! A rule is a rule! Forever.

Comments? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.