The Old Coot says it’s all in a name

My friend Matt gave me this gem for an Old Coot article; I call it “All in a Name.” He told me about a landscape-planning meeting he was in. As he was explaining it to me I interrupted, asking, “So, the landscape guy was trying to find out your likes and dislikes.” 

“Oh no,” he replied. “Not a landscape GUY, landscape ARCHITECT. Landscape guy = $20 per hour, Landscape architect = $400 per hour.” Knowing Matt, I’m sure he made the conversation as short as possible.

This “All in a name” thing pervades every layer of society. Lawyer = $200 per hour, Attorney = $400 per hour. Truck driver = $25 per hour, Transportation Specialist = $50 per hour. Plumber =$70 per hour, master plumber = $110 per hour. (These per-hour comparisons are approximations, dredged from the cobweb section of my brain and are not to be considered exact.) But, that’s true of just about everything I write.  

Most business enterprises follow an “all in a name” pecking order. Titles show distinctions commensurate with pay scales – but not always. Sometimes titles are awarded instead of giving someone a raise. You ask your boss for an increase in pay and walk out of their office with a new title, no raise, just an ego boost. 

My most annoying abuse of the all-in-a-name title game is the moniker some politicians claim for themselves, “Public Servant.” Wow! When I hear that one my head spins and brings up images from the scene in the Wizard of Oz movie where Toto tugs at the curtain while the wizard says, “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.” 

PUBLIC SERVANT? I don’t think so, not with their salaries, pensions, medical coverage and other perks they certainly don’t want us to find out about. Doesn’t sound like SERVANT is an appropriate designation, especially for the ones that hang on to the job for decades. 

Of course, my own situation carries a well-deserved designation. I’m not an author, nor a journalist, nor a true columnist. I’m a hack-writer, or just a complaining old coot. Take your pick. Either is a skin I’m comfortable in.   

Comments? Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.