The Old Coot is off his rocker

I took a test ride the other day. In a rocking chair! I don’t know why. It just dawned on me that I hadn’t been on one in years and wanted to experience it again. Just like I did with a swing set at the park last year. I thought it would be relaxing and help work out some of the kinks in my aging, muscular-skeletal structure. It’s what JFK did quite often when he was president, to relieve his chronic back pain from injuries he suffered during World War ll. 

It’s a really clever device, the rocking chair; it eases back pain; it helps your knee and hip joints and reduces stress. Feeling nervous, edgy, stressed out? Take a ride in a rocker. It’s much better than plopping down on a sofa or a plush recliner. The rocking motion stretches muscles, tendons and all that other junk that makes up your anatomy. Your whole body benefits when you limber up in a rocking chair. It has the same rejuvenation benefit that the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz received when Dorothy oiled his joints.  

The rocking chair hasn’t been around all that long. Most historians credit it to American ingenuity, invented by an unknown woodworker in the 1700’s who took the idea of curved rockers on cradles and applied the concept to a simple wooden chair. People tried it; they liked it. The rest is history. 

It’s not just old guys like me who can benefit from a rocking chair. Young people, too; especially moms (and dads) with new babies or young toddlers. You get double duty from a rocker; the baby settles down and you do too. It even works with antsy, twitchy kids; don’t make them stand in a corner; let them rock it off in a rocker. It works better than Ritalin in some ways.  

Some people, mostly men, can be seen rocking in a chair without rockers, tilting back and forth on a four-legged kitchen chair, sitting backwards with their arms resting on the chair back. Every so often they rock beyond the point of no return and crash to the floor with arms flailing as though making an angel silhouette in fresh snow. You can see this “man in flight” performance every once in a while, on America’s Funniest Videos. Save yourself from an appearance on national TV and get a rocking chair. I’m going to. 

Comments? Complaints? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.