The Old Coot likes an aisle seat

[By Merlin Lessler]

I went to a play at the Daytona Beach Playhouse the other day. The Daytona 500 race was going on at the same time, but we hadn’t checked the calendar when we bought the tickets. We did get home in time to see three big smashups, the last one with only a few laps to go. 

Anyhow, this theater was nice, small, and low-budget. It fit right in with my cheapskate persona. We usually buy an aisle seat, so we don’t have to climb over people to get to our seats. 

When you order a ticket to just about any venue, you can select where you want to sit: upfront, to the side, in the back, and the like. Different prices, of course, and limited availability. It’s first come, first served. 

So, there we were, in the back row with an aisle seat. I wish there were other seating choices. Like a seat without a big hat or a big-haired person in front of you. I’d add to that bigness thing: no big heads or tall people either. 

Even with the aisle seat, we had some inconvenience, having to let middle-row people pass in and out for a trip to the restroom or the snack bar for another glass of wine. So, I’d add a ban on small-bladder people and drinkers in my row.  

I think those seating options would be attractive and worth the money. I probably should add a choice that assures the absence of yacking people within 20 feet of you. I don’t get it. They pay good money to see a show and then, “Blah, blah, blah,” all through the performance. 

Yep, those are the choices I want: no big hats, big heads, big hair, small bladders, or constant talkers within hearing range. I’d give up an aisle for that. 

Comments? Send to – mlessler7@gmail.com.