Pastor’s Thoughts: It all begins with the first step

If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (I John 1:8&9)

I knew I had to write a piece about my struggles with drugs and alcohol, and started by asking a friend who is a professional in the field of recovery and counseling for advice about the topic of addiction. He said that a preachy column would scare people away. I could see his point. When I was a drunk and strung-out I denied God and did not want to hear some out-of-touch old guy tell me all about how Jesus loves me.

Nobody loves me, I thought, and worked very hard to make myself unlovable. How could they? How could I love myself? If I felt love, I wouldn’t have been drunk and high as much as possible.

I did everything I could get my hands on. Years before I came to Jesus I started regularly thanking God that I didn’t kill anyone when I was driving around drunk and full of drugs.

I couldn’t keep a girlfriend, and I was pretty pathetic and alone by the time I was 22.

What about you? Look around yourself; try to find out how old the people are that you share your time with. Are the older people better off than you are, or pathetic? Do you identify with the younger people and recognize they are where you used to be?

Now, where are you at, and where are you going? Are you really where you want to be, or are you where heartaches and bad choices have led you?

I hope that you can talk to the people that caused the heartache that ate that hole in your heart you’re trying to fill with your “fix” of choice. My experience is that some kind of family issue usually gets the ball rolling with addiction, so I’m thinking mostly of family here.

I hope they will not dismiss your feelings or the effect of their actions, and will at least listen and have a calm conversation with you. Everyone has to start at Go here, this is about saving your life.

I also hope each of your statements start with, “I forgive you, but . . .” Everyone must be clear and honest about what they have experienced as a result of words or actions. It’s not a time for accusations or arguments – it’s a time for healing for everyone involved.

Their choices may have damaged you, but don’t forget that your choices have probably hurt them as well, if they love you. But the biggest, most important choice you can make is to forgive them. Not for them, but for you. Take ownership and power over the situation by starting the healing process, especially for yourself. And forgive me here, but Jesus teaches that if you desire forgiveness, you must be willing to forgive, too (Matthew 6:14&15).

It may take a brave, radical, transcendent act of forgiveness, of yourself and others, for you to be able to scream into the abyss of your regret and despair, “I am good! I am worth it! I can change and grow!”

If you are struggling and know you are going downhill to a place you don’t want to be, take that first step; and if you are young, don’t waste another minute of the flower of your youth or take a chance with your very life for a hurt you can never heal with substance abuse. Young or old, there is a better life waiting for you, if you have the courage to take the first step and reach out for help.

Who has woe? Who has sorrow? / Who has contentions? Who has complaining? / Who has wounds without cause? / Who has redness of eyes? / Those who linger long over wine, / Those who go to taste mixed wine. / Do not look on the wine when it is red, / When it sparkles in the cup, / When it goes down smoothly; / At the last it bites like a serpent / And stings like a viper.

Your eyes will see strange things / And your mind will utter perverse things. / And you will be like one who lies down in the middle of the sea, / Or like one who lies down on the top of a pole. / “They struck me, but I did not become ill; / They beat me, but I did not know it. / When shall I awake? / I will seek another drink.” (Proverbs 23:29-35)

A good spot for both NA and AA meeting schedules is the Open Door Mission website, theopendoormission.com/owego-local-na-and-aa-meetings/.

Narcotics Anonymous: St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 117 Main St., Owego: Monday Discussion at 8 p.m. (Open Meeting, Handicap accessible), Sunday Discussion at 6 p.m. (Open Meeting). The Red Door, 359 Broad St., Waverly: Tuesday from 7-8 p.m., “We Do Recover;” Wednesday, 7-8 p.m., “A Drug Is A Drug Is A Drug;” Thursday from 7-8 p.m., “Clean and Crazy.” Narcotics Anonymous, 210 Clinton St., Binghamton, call (607) 774-4907 for more meetings and information.

Alcoholics Anonymous: Owego Campfire Group, First Presbyterian Union Church, 111 Temple St., Owego, daily (Monday-Friday) at noon (Open Meeting and Handicap accessible); Rule 62 Group, 6:30 p.m., First Baptist Church, 228 Main St., Owego (Open). Fellowship Hall closes down from June until mid-September).

To find a meeting near you, visit alcoholicsanonymous.com/aa-meetings/new-york/.