November is National Adoption Month and a time to raise awareness about adopting a child from foster care. Currently in the United States there are over 400,000 children in foster care, with more than 100,000 of these children waiting for permanent homes. The children in care who need permanent homes range in ages from infancy all the way up to the age of 21 (in many states, including New York), as children never outgrow the need for a family.
Unfortunately, each year approximately 20,000 children age out of the foster care system without having found their forever family. Did you know that teens that are adopted are more likely to graduate from high school, enroll in higher education and obtain a greater degree of emotional stability than their peers who remain in foster care?
In honor of National Adoption Month, the Tioga County Department of Social Services would like to honor one of their own foster and adoptive families who have opened their hearts and their home with the intent of providing permanency to a foster child. This year they would like to honor Christina and Mike VanValkenburg. This year has been especially unique for foster and adoptive families due to COVID-19 and its impact on everyone.
Christina and Mike have been foster parents since 2014. They have adopted two children since being opened in 2014. Christina and Mike decided to pursue foster care as they had been married 17 years and knew that their family wasn’t complete. Christina and Mike knew that they wanted to be open to sibling groups and children with medical needs. Christina and Mike knew that they wanted to expand their family and discussed private adoption verses going through foster care. In the end they decided to go through the foster care system to add to their family.
Christina and Mike were asked what has been challenging about adopting and Christina said, “Well, with the unique times of the pandemic, the court dates getting canceled a week before the adoption was to be final, after the boys had been waiting nearly 3.5 years was very challenging as kids don’t always understand the “Why.”
Christina and Mike advised that the original adoption date was canceled due to COVID-19, which also shut the courts down. Christina knew that when they did finally get to have an adoption day that they would need to make some adjustments to their original celebration plans.
Christina stated, “When we finally got word that the judge (from three hours away) wanted to come all the way to Tioga County to finalize the adoption we had less than a week to put it all together. As our boys are early school age, they of course love Superheroes. Over their years with us we made sure to let them know that being adopted (or in foster care) made them special, and not to let anyone tell them otherwise.”
She further stated, “So, it only made sense that our adoption day was themed ‘All the best Superheroes are adopted!’ Each member of the family chose an adopted superhero, the boys choosing Flash and Robin, and we wore those shirts under our dress clothes to ‘reveal’ after the adoption was final (think Clark Kent opening his dress shirt).”
As her story continued, Christina went on to say, “We also made a sign for them that now hangs in their room. As we are also lovers of Disney, we made sure to have some ‘Ohana’ themed goodies as well for our onlookers, as we were fortunate enough to have our adoption outdoors so everyone could see it and be safe.”
Christina and Mike were asked what the rewards have been, and they both said that there have been many rewards.
Christina said that seeing children who come to you guarded and unsure find their voice and open up is rewarding. Helping the children in their home grow and succeed also rewards Christina and Mike.
The couple was recently asked to reflect on their experiences from fostering to adoption, and if they had any advice for families considering becoming a foster / adoptive parent.
Mike stated, “You need to be willing to go outside of what you had originally planned.” Christina suggests reading books on connecting, especially if you are matched with an older child.
Have you been considering foster care and adoption? Do you have room in your heart and in your home? If so, join the team that cares about kids, the Tioga County Foster and Adoptive Parenting Program, where they know that temporary care makes a permanent difference.
Tioga County needs caring foster and adoptive families like Christina and Mike, who can provide a nurturing home for children, especially those who can provide care to teenagers, sibling groups, and children with special developmental and emotional needs.
For more information about becoming a certified foster and/or adoptive parent, contact Angela Figgs at the Tioga County Department of Social Services by calling (607) 687-8346, or by email to Angela.Figgs@dfa.state.ny.us.
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