Guest Editorial: Teen Dating and Violence and Abuse

Adolescence is a time of exploration and seeking independence. This often includes youth developing dating relationships. As adults, we may minimize these dating experiences, thinking of teen relationships as minor crushes and “puppy love.” In reality, sometimes these relationships involve very serious elements of abuse and control.

Both adolescents and adults are generally unaware of how regularly teen-dating abuse occurs. Teen dating violence occurs as frequently as domestic violence in adult relationships, with one in three high school students having been involved with a partner who is abusive.

Dating violence occurs when one partner attempts to gain power and control over the other by using various forms of abuse. This can include emotional, verbal, physical, and/or sexual abuse. Controlling and isolating behaviors may be rationalized by the abusive teen as “just” jealousy. 

The partner may disrespect and disregard the other’s feelings, goals, privacy, property, family and friends. The use of technology to control, monitor, or harass a dating partner are tactics frequently used. This includes behaviors such as sending excessive, unwanted texts; humiliating or threatening their partner on social media; sharing intimate photos or videos with others; and demanding access to their partner’s phone communications.  

Teen dating violence can have short-and long-term effects on a developing youth. Teens who are abused by a partner are more likely to experience depression and anxiety symptoms, engage in unhealthy behaviors like using drugs and alcohol, and to think about suicide. Abuse in an adolescent relationship can be a precursor for intimate partner violence in adulthood; an abusive person’s pattern of controlling behaviors can span a lifetime and multiple victims.

As adolescence is a time of growth and exploration, it is also an opportunity for adults to support the development of healthy, respectful intimate partnerships. It is a critical time for youth to develop skills to create and maintain healthy relationships. As adults, we can model and support relationships based on trust, honest communication, shared power, and control over decisions, and by viewing and treating one another with respect. 

Control, intimidation, and isolation are not parts of a healthy relationship.

If you recognize elements of control in your teen’s relationship, A New Hope Center offers free and confidential support. Their 24-hour Hotline and Textline is (607) 687-6866.