I\u2019ve been moving stuff all week to a new place in Owego. My mind and body are shot. So I\u2019m using this article from 2012 to readmit that I don\u2019t listen.<\/p>\n
Men don\u2019t listen. And worse, we don\u2019t know it. We think we\u2019re good listeners. Our wives know we\u2019re not. They have to deal with it all the time.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy are you getting all dolled up,\u201d we innocently ask.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause we\u2019re going to the play tonight with Nick and Nancy. I told you about it last week and reminded you again at dinner, just 20 minutes ago.\u201d<\/p>\n
This is when the wisest among us shut our mouths and start to get ready to go out. Many of us aren\u2019t that smart. We whine, \u201cYou never mentioned it to me.\u201d That\u2019s when we get the short version of the lecture on how we never listen. We\u2019ll get the long version when we get back home after the play.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not our fault. We try to listen. We\u2019re positive we hear everything our wives tell us, but we don\u2019t. I think it\u2019s a right brain, left brain thing. When somebody talks to us we are all ears, for about ten seconds. Then our brain switches into a sports mode. It drags up images of scoring the winning basket as the clock winds down to zero. Actually, it doesn\u2019t drag up the image; it makes it up. There never was a moment like that. The male brain can\u2019t distinguish between fact and fiction. <\/p>\n
It\u2019s not just our wives we don\u2019t listen to; it\u2019s everybody. It\u2019s why we get in so much trouble. We\u2019re in a conversation; the other person talks and talks and then stops and looks at us and says, \u201cSo, do you think it\u2019s a good idea?\u201d We have no idea what they are talking about, but we never admit it. \u201cSure,\u201d we respond. \u201cThat\u2019s a great idea.\u201d Then we discover that we just loaned our car to our neighbor\u2019s teenage son for the prom.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow could you do that?\u201d our wife asks. \u201cIt sounded like a good idea at the time,\u201d we lamely respond. \u201cYou had to be there.\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019m so glad that women are getting into leadership positions in business and politics. It was a tough road without them. If a woman had been in charge of Ford Motor Company in the 50\u2019s when the design team made the pitch to introduce the Edsel, she might have listened to the engineers who warned that it was too soon, that the bugs hadn\u2019t been worked out.<\/p>\n
As it was, Henry Ford the 2nd was daydreaming about the Detroit Tigers when the discussion took place. When asked if they should move ahead and introduce the car in the 1958 model year he said, \u201cSounds like a good idea.\u201d <\/p>\n
It\u2019s just the opposite with women. They hear everything, even the stuff that you never say. If the words make it into the little waiting room in your brain, the place you put stuff for a few seconds before you let it go public, women hear it.<\/p>\n
They also have long-term memories. We say stuff that gets them so mad they can\u2019t see straight. But they don\u2019t say anything at the time. We hear about it two months later.<\/p>\n
\u201cOn December 2, at two in the afternoon, you said I looked a little chunky in my new coat.\u201d<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s where tact has such great value, if only we were smart enough to use it. We have no idea what she is talking about. We don\u2019t even know she has a new coat. We can relate to December 2; the Giants were playing the Eagles that day. The stupid among us, blurt that information out, ala, \u201cDidn\u2019t know about the coat, the Giants were playing, etc.\u201d<\/p>\n
Those of us who hope to live to a ripe old age take a breath and fake it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember saying that. It\u2019s bothered me every single day since then. I almost cried; I felt so bad. It wasn\u2019t true anyhow; you looked great. I was mad because the Giants were losing and I took it out on you. How can I ever make it up to you?\u201d<\/p>\n
Of course it\u2019s all fiction. No man would ever say those things. How could he? He never heard what she was complaining about to begin with. Remember, men don\u2019t listen. <\/p>\n