There are a lot of handshake bullies out there. You stick out your hand and find your fingers in a vice. The bully looks at you with one of those \u201cgotcha\u201d grins, and squeezes. You hear your knuckles crack, feel the joints buckle. You fight with everything you\u2019ve got to hold back the tears. <\/p>\n
When he\u2019s done crushing your hand, you don\u2019t have enough strength to go through it again. Your hand needs a day to recover. So, you grin and bear it and put a note in your memory to be prepared the next time you run into him.<\/p>\n
It won\u2019t work; the bully puts a picture of you holding back the tears in his memory. When you see him again and stick out your hand, ready for his maneuver, he doesn\u2019t make a quick grab for your fingers; he ducks down and gives you a \u201cfriendly\u201d punch in the gut, \u201cHa ha, gotcha again!\u201d The only thing to do then is to stomp down on his foot with everything you\u2019ve got, and say, \u201cOops, sorry. I tripped.\u201d<\/p>\n
This is why some guys don\u2019t shake hands. Some younger guys hug; do a fist bump, a shoulder bump or a high five; anything to avoid getting trapped by a handshake bully.<\/p>\n
Old coots don\u2019t do any of that stuff; it\u2019s too complicated and we\u2019re too uncoordinated \u2013 we\u2019d miss the other guy\u2019s fist in a fist bump and end up punching him in the upper arm \u2013 an attempt at a shoulder bump would find us staggering past the guy, headed for a spill \u2013 a high five would end the same way and we don\u2019t know how to hug.<\/p>\n
We step back, tip our hats, or salute and say, \u201cHowdy; good to see you Governor.\u201d It makes us look like an idiot, but who cares? Handshake bullies don\u2019t get us in their vice grip anymore. <\/p>\n