{"id":91050,"date":"2022-07-13T08:12:07","date_gmt":"2022-07-13T12:12:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.owegopennysaver.com\/PS\/?p=91050"},"modified":"2022-07-13T08:12:07","modified_gmt":"2022-07-13T12:12:07","slug":"the-old-coot-fails-a-pop-quiz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.owegopennysaver.com\/PS\/2022\/07\/13\/the-old-coot-fails-a-pop-quiz\/","title":{"rendered":"The Old Coot Fails a Pop Quiz"},"content":{"rendered":"

I had a SURPRISE, pre-80th (six months prior) birthday party a few weeks ago. They seem to come so fast when you\u2019re an old coot. Not at all like the year when I was 15 and counting the days until I could get a permit and drive my \u201cold man\u2019s\u201d sedan. That year took an eternity. <\/span><\/p>\n

But after I turned 50, the years began to fly; ten minutes later I was signing up for Social Security. My birthday cards are loaded with \u201cold\u201d jokes. They cause trouble for old coots like me. Not because of the \u201cold\u201d jokes, I\u2019m used to that stuff. No, they cause problems because I don\u2019t know what to do with the cards after I open them. <\/span><\/p>\n

And guess what? There are rules. Most men don\u2019t know it\u2019s impolite to tear open the envelope, read the card, smile, chuckle, and throw it away. That\u2019s a serious violation of the rules. You are supposed to save it, put it on display on your dining room, or your mantle if you have one. You can\u2019t toss it in the garbage. And, if you are smart, you\u2019ll memorize what it says. <\/span><\/p>\n

For the pop quiz that lurks in your future; you\u2019ll know the quiz has started when you hear someone say, \u201cDid you like my card?\u201d If you didn\u2019t follow the rules, you can only lamely respond, \u201cYes I did. Thanks you very much.\u201d That won\u2019t work, not when the sender asks, \u201cDid you think the little dog with the eyeglasses was funny?\u201d Now, in big trouble, you feel like a kid again, slumped down in your seat with the teacher standing in front of your desk staring down at you as you squirm and get ready to tell her the dog ate your homework. <\/p>\n

You can redeem yourself. You can go home and read the card again. Do your homework, so to speak. When you see the person who was nice enough to give you a card, you can mention the little dog wearing eyeglasses and the chuckle it gave you. You might add a statement or two about how funny other people thought the card was. This might earn you enough credit to get your pop quiz grade raised from an F to a D.  Which is quite an accomplishment, for an old coot.      <\/p>\n

The rules aren\u2019t specific about how long you should keep your birthday cards on display. I go with a two-week rule. But, that won\u2019t work for everybody. Old coots that don\u2019t get out much should keep the cards for a month or more, because they may not get to some of the pop quizzes for several weeks. They can bone up for the test every time they leave the house. They won\u2019t have to use the, \u201cI had a senior moment and can\u2019t remember your card,\u201d defense. They can ace the test! <\/p>\n

When the viewing period has run its course, you are permitted to throw the cards away. But only a foolish old coot would do it. Smart ones put them in a drawer so they can pull them out a week before their next birthday and do their homework. When they get hit with this year\u2019s pop quiz they can compare the new card to last year\u2019s, \u201cI thought your card with the little puppy last year was the funniest card I ever saw, but this one, with the snail tying his shoe laces, is funnier yet!\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s techniques like this that get you into the old coot hall of fame. I only have one request. When I get inducted, please don\u2019t send me a card. <\/p>\n

P.S., the party was great! Even better than my 7th when I was surprised with a pair of Hopalong Cassidy cap guns.   <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had a SURPRISE, pre-80th (six months prior) birthday party a few weeks ago. They seem to come so fast when you\u2019re an old coot….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":82349,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-91050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-editorial"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Old Coot Fails a Pop Quiz - Owego Pennysaver Press<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.owegopennysaver.com\/PS\/2022\/07\/13\/the-old-coot-fails-a-pop-quiz\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Old Coot Fails a Pop Quiz - Owego Pennysaver Press\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I had a SURPRISE, pre-80th (six months prior) birthday party a few weeks ago. 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