If you\u2019ve been in the hospital lately for a procedure or in a doctor\u2019s office for an examination, you might have fumbled getting into a hospital gown. The nurse hands you one, and as she walks out the door says, \u201cIt ties in the back.\u201d Not for me! Not anymore!<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t tie behind my back. Most men can\u2019t. I stopped trying several years ago. Now I put it on so it ties in the front. My inability to tie things in the back came to light when I was in kindergarten and it was time to finger paint. We had to put on a smock that tied in the back. The girls could do it! Most of the boys went untied, unless the teacher felt inclined to help them. It\u2019s just one of the things that separated the girls from the boys, this back tying form of dyslexia that boys have. Probably a sexist statement but I\u2019m sticking to it. <\/p>\n
Boys and girls (men and women) are different. It starts right off in kindergarten; girls are way ahead of boys in maturity, dexterity and sharing. And, can handle a lifetime of tying, fastening and buttoning behind the back. If men\u2019s shirts buttoned up the back like women\u2019s dresses do, we\u2019d go around wearing pullovers. And, to tie a tie behind our back, like women fasten necklaces, we\u2019d go around tieless.<\/p>\n
The only thing old coots like me can do behind our back, is to clasp our hands together when we impatiently pace back and forth in a line, waiting to be served. Especially at the DMV, renewing our driver\u2019s license, hoping not to hear the clerk say, \u201cAre you really still driving a car?\u201d <\/p>\n
It is said that real men wear pink. Well, it\u2019s also true that real men wear aprons. Us old coots wear ones with long strings, so they can be looped around and tied in front. Just Google Amazon if you want one, they have plenty. Yes, I stumble through life with a \u201ccan\u2019t tie behind my back\u201d deficiency, but at least the medical community doesn\u2019t fool me anymore. I tie in front, like nature intended, no matter what the nurse says when she hands me a gown. What do you do? <\/p>\n