{"id":85581,"date":"2021-07-15T07:12:58","date_gmt":"2021-07-15T11:12:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.owegopennysaver.com\/PS\/?p=85581"},"modified":"2021-07-15T07:13:28","modified_gmt":"2021-07-15T11:13:28","slug":"the-old-coots-pants-are-on-fire","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.owegopennysaver.com\/PS\/2021\/07\/15\/the-old-coots-pants-are-on-fire\/","title":{"rendered":"The Old Coot\u2019s pants are on fire"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m a liar. Everyone is, but it\u2019s something that a lot of people won\u2019t admit. Not me! I even lie to my doctor. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not alone. Many of my fellow old coots do it too. It starts right off when the doctor walks into the little room where you\u2019ve waited, staring at gruesome pictures on the wall, for the longest ten minutes of your life. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you doing, Mr. Coot. Any issues?\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

What kind of question is that; to ask of an old man? Of course, there are issues, all of which I\u2019ve come to accept over my \u201cgolden\u201d years, and know how to live with. So, I lie, \u201cI\u2019m doing great!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAny chest pains?\u201d \u2013 \u201cNot really.\u201d Just the normal ones I get every once in a while \u2013 some could be heart related \u2013 most are old age related \u2013 indigestion or muscle aches from screwing in a light bulb. I\u2019ve lived with these chest things for years, so no sense letting that cat out of the bag. I have a few stents \u2013 put in five years ago, so I\u2019m an expert at listening to my body. If I didn\u2019t lie, I\u2019d be in for a round of unnecessary tests, probes and a battery of appointments spending endless hours in waiting and examining rooms. So, for my own good, I lie.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cYou up in the night a lot?\u201d \u2013 \u201cSometimes; no complaints.\u201d Sometimes? What a lie \u2013 how about every night! That\u2019s the norm for an old coot. No sense in getting into a new round of appointments with an urologist. I\u2019m not bringing up the subject until the rug between my bedroom and the bathroom starts to wear thin. <\/p>\n

\u201cHow are you sleeping?\u201d \u2013 \u201cGood. No problem.\u201d What a lie! \u2013 I love my 11 a.m. nap \u2013 the 3 p.m. doze reading a book \u2013 the TV shows after dinner that I mostly sleep through. I sleep in bits and pieces, so by bedtime I don\u2019t go down for a solid stretch of time. Bad sleep habits (patterns) are the norm for us old guys. No sense admitting it and setting myself up for a session at a sleep clinic, listening to a bunch of old guys snoring. <\/p>\n

All through the doctor visit \u2013Lie! \u2013 Lie! \u2013 Lie! But these are healthy lies that many old coots have mastered. We\u2019re dealing with medical professionals who have studied, but never experienced, the ins and outs of old age. It\u2019s not a science. Old age is an art. Give me an 80-year-old doctor and I will stop telling lies. <\/p>\n

Comments? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m a liar. Everyone is, but it\u2019s something that a lot of people won\u2019t admit. Not me! I even lie to my doctor.  I\u2019m not…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":82349,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-85581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-editorial"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Old Coot\u2019s pants are on fire - Owego Pennysaver Press<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.owegopennysaver.com\/PS\/2021\/07\/15\/the-old-coots-pants-are-on-fire\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Old Coot\u2019s pants are on fire - Owego Pennysaver Press\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019m a liar. 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