{"id":83307,"date":"2021-02-04T07:27:42","date_gmt":"2021-02-04T12:27:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.owegopennysaver.com\/PS\/?p=83307"},"modified":"2021-02-04T07:27:56","modified_gmt":"2021-02-04T12:27:56","slug":"the-old-coot-rediscovers-the-um-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.owegopennysaver.com\/PS\/2021\/02\/04\/the-old-coot-rediscovers-the-um-people\/","title":{"rendered":"The Old Coot Rediscovers the \u2018Um\u2019 People"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This isn\u2019t the first time I\u2019ve written about the \u201cUm\u201d people; actually, it\u2019s the fourth or fifth time I\u2019ve covered my favorite target for people watching. It never fails to give me a chuckle.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>This latest encounter was in a donut shop. She was in line, fortunately not the one I was in, staring at the racks of donuts. When her turn came, she was dumfounded. The clerk asked, \u201cWhat can I get for you?\u201d She replied, \u201c<i>Um<\/i>,\u201d and then tapped her chin with her index finger and repeated the <i>Um<\/i>. Finally, she got started. \u201cLet me have two jelly donuts, followed with another <i>Um<\/i>. All through the selection process her dialog was interspaced with <i>Um\u2019s.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Um<\/i> people are never prepared for the task at hand. When the exasperated donut shop clerk finally got her order finished and said, \u201cThat will be seven dollars and sixty-eight cents,\u201d she shifted into a new <i>Um<\/i> phase, as in, \u201c<i>Um<\/i>, where did I put my wallet?\u201d Everything that comes <i>Um<\/i> people\u2019s way is a shock. We all do this from time to time, but <i>Um<\/i> people remain stuck in the groove.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Old coots are the exact opposite of <i>Um<\/i> people. We know what donuts we\u2019ll order before we leave the house. We come prepared for line situations. We know what it will cost; we have our money ready. We make the exchange, accept the, \u201cHave a good day,\u201d and step out of the way.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Like customers of the \u201cSoup Nazi\u201d on the Seinfeld TV show, we are obedient, compliant and unobtrusive. We do this because we hate lines, inefficient lines. It\u2019s why we go to dinner at four o\u2019clock in the afternoon; we don\u2019t want to wait in line for a table. It\u2019s an ailment that\u2019s incurable. It\u2019s limiting. But on the positive side, we get a real kick when we witness an <i>Um<\/i> person in action.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Our line-phobia is a handicap, that\u2019s for sure, but it does have its good points. It\u2019s made us experts on line behavior. We don\u2019t get in lines where we suspect an <i>Um<\/i> person is in the queue. We sit off to the side and watch the show.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s especially entertaining in a deli when an Um orders a submarine sandwich. The number of decisions forced on them overwhelms them. First, the size of the sub: six inch or one foot. That\u2019s good for two or three <i>Ums.<\/i> Then a bread choice confronts them &#8211; Italian, whole wheat, white, etc. That\u2019s good for another few <i>Um<\/i>s. That\u2019s when I swivel in my chair to get a full view of the <i>Um<\/i> symphony, the choices of meat, cheese, vegetables and garnishes. The crescendo of <i>Um<\/i>s is deafening. The fatal blow comes when the clerk offers a final option, \u201cWould you like that toasted?\u201d That does it; the Um person\u2019s brain reaches overload. He runs out of the store, waving his hands in the air and screaming at the top of his lungs. It\u2019s what I\u2019ve been waiting for.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p>The clerk looks over to me and asks if I want a free sub. \u201c<i>Um<\/i>,\u201d I reply. \u201cWhat are my choices?\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Comments? Complaints? Send to \u2013 <a href=\"mailto:mlessler7@gmail.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">mlessler7@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This isn\u2019t the first time I\u2019ve written about the \u201cUm\u201d people; actually, it\u2019s the fourth or fifth time I\u2019ve covered my favorite target for people&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":82349,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-83307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-editorial"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Old Coot Rediscovers the \u2018Um\u2019 People - Owego Pennysaver Press<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.owegopennysaver.com\/PS\/2021\/02\/04\/the-old-coot-rediscovers-the-um-people\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Old Coot Rediscovers the \u2018Um\u2019 People - 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