We acquire many names as we spin through life. The first one is \u201cThe Baby.\u201d How\u2019s \u201cThe Baby\u201d doing? Is \u201cThe Baby\u201d walking yet? Has \u201cThe Baby\u201d started teething? Then we move on to our birth certificate name or a nickname. In my case, I became \u201cButch.\u201d Everyone in the neighborhood called me Butch, so often that I thought it was my real name. Then came kindergarten, I officially became Merlin, as in, \u201cMerlin Lessler stop throwing sand at Butchy.\u201d Butchy was really Peter, but somehow, he kept his street name. I was only throwing sand at him because he was a bully and had just yanked a toy truck out of my hands. <\/p>\n
I shrugged and accepted the Merlin label. Then came 1st grade; we were assigned seats, boys on one side of the room and girls on the other. The teacher prepared an alphabetical seating chart in preparation for the first day of school. I was assigned a seat on the girl\u2019s side of the room. There I sat, in a sea of giggling, finger pointing first graders. The teacher finally noticed; she claimed she thought Merlin was an alternative spelling of the girl\u2019s name, Marilyn. I got moved to the boy\u2019s side, but she got even for having to redo the seating chart. <\/span><\/p>\n She continued to call me Marilyn. This went on for weeks. Finally, I\u2019d had enough. She asked \u201cMarilyn\u201d to come to the blackboard to write the spelling words. I stayed seated. She asked again. I didn\u2019t move. Then again, this time with her face inches from mine. My reaction? \u201cMarilyn? Who\u2019s Marilyn? I\u2019m Merlin! Everyone here knows that but you.\u201d My insubordination earned me my first trip to the principal\u2019s office. I had to sit in the cool-down room with Butchy, who welcomed me with a slug to the arm. <\/p>\n That experience and the aftermath turned me sour on my unusual name. I spent the next several decades with different name tags: Nick, Knurling, Les, Shooter (as in pool player), Jim Steel (fake electrician) and several others, best of them being: Hubby, Daddy and Grandpa. I settled on Merl, and then finally embraced, and switched to, Merlin. It was like getting back together with a long-lost friend. <\/span><\/p>\n It has some positives. I can go by one name, like Cher. I don\u2019t need a last name; I\u2019ve only met one other person named Merlin. It happened in a Starbucks in Florida. The clerk shouted out, \u201cMerlin, your drink is ready.\u201d I hadn\u2019t ordered yet, so I knew it wasn\u2019t for me. I went over and introduced myself. My first Merlin! When I see him now, he calls me, \u201cOther,\u201d as in, the \u201cother\u201d Merlin. It\u2019s not hard to tell us apart. I\u2019m the skinny guy; he\u2019s the one in Teddy Bear pajama bottoms. <\/p>\n Now, little by little, my Merlin moniker is slipping away. More and more people refer to me as the Old Coot, or just plain Coot; finally, a name that\u2019s a perfect fit. At least I don\u2019t have to sit on the girl\u2019s side of the room.<\/p>\n