I dropped a small screw in the kitchen the other day. Not a miniature one, like the one that fell out of my glasses. I never did find that one; I ended up fixing them with a bent paperclip. It gave me a dorky look, but not as bad as when they snapped apart at the nose piece and I wrapped the break with adhesive tape. Now that was dorky of the highest order. One, unfortunately, I\u2019m well acquainted with. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But, back to the screw that I dropped the other day; it was an inch long and should have been easy to spot. It wasn\u2019t! I scanned the area where I expected it to be and then had to widen the search perimeter, to no avail. I was irked, determined to not let it escape. I finally found it; well I didn\u2019t actually \u201cfind\u201d it \u2013 I stepped on it as I was walking out of the room. Barefoot. Ouch! It was in the doorway, ten feet beyond where I\u2019d been looking. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Whenever I drop something, it seems to go much farther than I expect. Even a piece of popcorn, a light fluffy object that should be easy to retrieve, travels a surprising distance and then disappears. The same thing happens with a peanut, a paper clip, or other small item. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They elude me when I try to see where they\u2019ve landed. It\u2019s nature\u2019s cruel joke on old coots. The older I get, the harder it is to get down on my hands and knees to search for things. And, the farther I have to crawl to find it, the harder it is to get back up. When I do locate the item and get back to my feet, I\u2019ve forgotten what I was going to do with it. I stand there like a dummy, holding it in my hand, looking around the room hoping to jar my memory. It\u2019s an \u201cAttention Span\u201d disorder. Quite normal for old coots like me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s why I\u2019ll never undergo surgery with a physician my age. The O.R. nurse will hand him an instrument, he\u2019ll listen to the music for a minute (it\u2019s his favorite Beetle\u2019s song) and then look down at the scalpel in his hand and ask himself, \u201cNow, what was I going to do with this?\u201d He\u2019ll surely mess me up and I do not want to be one of those people paraded out in attorney ads on TV, who brag about how much they collected using Butthead, Getum & Milkum Attorneys at Law. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
TV stations would go broke without ad revenue from these ambulance chasers. You and I end up paying for the settlements (and the ads) in higher insurance rates. I\u2019d sue them, but when I got on the witness stand my mind would probably go blank. (Now why am I here?) <\/p>\n\n\n\n