We all have one or two of them in our lives: LONG TALKERS! If you don\u2019t think you do, maybe it\u2019s because you\u2019re the long talker in your circle of friends and acquaintances. Long talkers go on and on and on. <\/p>\n
\u201cHow was the movie,\u201d you naively ask. You don\u2019t get a Siskel and Ebert thumbs up or thumbs down, you get a detailed, blow-by-blow replay of the whole film. A long talker will say, \u201cThe movie started with this big guy, Graham, who goes to Mars to find exotic minerals to bring his daughter out of a coma.\u201d \u201cMars,\u201d you say to yourself. \u201cThis is going to be bad.\u201d Character after character is introduced. Event after event. Soon, you are so confused you forgot what the long talker is even going on about. You desperately want to kick yourself for asking in the first place.<\/p>\n
This is when you focus on an exit strategy. It starts with hope. You \u201chope\u201d the long talker will get a phone call. But, when he does, you discover he doesn\u2019t let it interrupt his \u201ctalk,\u201d he ignores it and says, \u201cI\u2019ll get back to them later.\u201d So, you \u201chope\u201d some more, wishing your phone would ring. But, it doesn\u2019t. Then, you look around and \u201chope\u201d someone will walk in and interrupt the one-way conversation. But, nobody does. <\/p>\n
Hope rarely works! That\u2019s when you\u2019re forced to switch to the \u201clie\u201d strategy: you look at your watch and say, \u201cOh my, it\u2019s 9:15, I have to get going.\u201d It doesn\u2019t work. The long talker acts like you didn\u2019t say anything and continues the marathon recitation. Three more tries, three more lies, until you finally break free. You add a fourth lie, \u201cI\u2019ll catch up with you later; I want to know how the movie turned out.\u201d<\/p>\n
AS you hustle away, the long talker keeps at it, yelling out more of the movie\u2019s plot. It gets you started on a long-term strategy, so you can avoid this situation, this person, in the future, by walking the other way when you spot him at a distance and installing an App on your phone that will make it ring when you squeeze it. And most important, you\u2019ll have at the ready, a collection of lies to help you disengage from the clutches of a long talker, like a dentist appointment that you\u2019re late for, or a kid waiting to be picked up. That sort of thing.<\/p>\n
Short talkers can be just as frustrating. You know the ones, the strong silent type. They are perfectly comfortable standing next to you in total silence. You\u2019re not. So, you try to engage them by asking a question, \u201cBeen doing anything exciting lately?\u201d You get a quick, \u201cNo.\u201d You try again, \u201cThis weather has been crazy, hasn\u2019t it?\u201d \u2013 \u201cYes,\u201d is all you get. You keep at it but keep getting short yes and no responses. Sometimes just a shrug. You look around, hoping a long talker will come by, a perfect match for a short talker. But, it doesn\u2019t happen. So, you lie and head for the restroom, hoping it has a window you can climb out. Long talkers and short talkers! <\/p>\n
Quite a challenge for us medium listeners.<\/p>\n