I\u2019m at that age where people ask, \u201cWhen are you going to give up driving?\u201d Now mind you, they haven\u2019t ridden with me or witnessed any driving oddities to provoke the question. Their inquiry is simply based on how I look. OLD. I usually answer with a joke, and say, \u201cAfter I run over a couple of pedestrians or hit the gas instead of the brake and drive into the south wall of John\u2019s Fine Foods. <\/p>\n
The real answer is, \u201cNEVER!\u201d Followed up with an affirmation, like that used by people defending their second amendment rights, when they say you\u2019ll get their gun when you pry it out of their cold dead hand. In my case, it\u2019s the steering wheel you\u2019ll have to pry out of my hand. Driving is one of the few things I have left. So what if I miss a red light now and then. Look at all the people who race through red lights on a regular basis, and most of them are young. Well, younger than I am anyhow. So what if I get in the passing lane on a highway and never leave until I come to my exit. I\u2019m not hurting anyone. <\/p>\n
I would agree to a compromise about my driving. I\u2019d be willing to mount a flashing, multi-color warning light on the roof of my car, to signal to the world that a senior citizen (I prefer being called old man, not senior citizen) is at the wheel. So, beware! That way, you can take steps to avoid my rare missteps. Just don\u2019t blow your horn; it will jar me out of my stupor and I\u2019ll veer into the next lane. And, don\u2019t follow to close; no matter if I\u2019m going 25 in a 45 MPH zone. If you do, be prepared to stop quickly, because I\u2019m going to slam on my brakes to get you off my tail. I don\u2019t know why; it\u2019s just what old coots do. <\/p>\n
Don\u2019t blink your lights when I\u2019m coming toward you with my high beams on. I know they\u2019re on. I need them to see. It\u2019s another one of those, \u201cThey don\u2019t make them like they used to,\u201d things. And they don\u2019t. Today\u2019s headlights are dim and get dimmer every day of a car\u2019s life because of that cheap plastic shield that turns opaque in front of that stupid little bulb that costs so much and does so little. Where was I before I got sidetracked? Oh yeah, when am I going to give up driving? Probably right after my wife reads this and takes away the keys. It\u2019s not that hard to pry things out of an old, \u201clive\u201d hand. <\/p>\n