I started a new exercise program the other day. I call it Remoteless Aerobics. Watching TV without using a remote. It\u2019s a term so new that my spellchecker said there is no such word as \u201cremoteless.\u201d <\/p>\n
Anyhow, word or not, going remoteless was harder than I thought. First of all, I couldn\u2019t find the controls on the TV set. I had to get a flashlight and scour the perimeter of the box. There, on the right-hand side, were buttons so small and indistinct I could hardly see them. I went to the kitchen and got my reading glasses, so I could see which button to push. I pushed a button with a circle and a slash next to it. The TV came on, just a lucky guess on my part. Then I pushed the channel button, adjusted the volume and walked five paces across the room and sat down to watch \u201cThe Price is Right,\u201d a show where I never know the right price.<\/p>\n
The furnace came on, drowning out the sound. I got up and scurried across the room to turn up the volume. A few minutes later, I was on the move again; the furnace turned off and now the sound was blasting. It took two trips. I had to go back and get my glasses because I couldn\u2019t see which button to push. Mind you, these buttons are the size of a period at the end of a sentence and hardly visible at all. Up down, up down, so it went. I checked my Fitbit at the end of the show; I was well on my way to 10,000 steps, a goal selected by the device, not me. It gave me credit for two stair climbs, too. I guess stepping up off the couch so often was the equivalent of climbing the stairs twice. Cool!<\/p>\n
If I keep this up and remove some other \u201cmake life easier\u201d devices from my routine, I\u2019ll be in good shape in no time. I wonder if you can still buy a car where you use arm power to roll down the window. It might offset using the power window to be handed a Big Mac and fries at a McDonalds take out window, avoiding the apparently, too strenuous effort of getting out of the car and walking to the counter. <\/p>\n
Life has changed since I joined the human race. So has the average human waistline. We don\u2019t move! Not much anyhow. We don\u2019t push a lawn mower; it pulls us long. We don\u2019t pull a rake; we blow the leaves away with a leaf blower. We don\u2019t pull up a garage door; we push a button. Shovel snow with a shovel? Are you nuts! Not anymore. <\/p>\n
Pretty soon we won\u2019t be wrestling with a steering wheel or pressing the brake. A computer and a bunch of servomechanisms will handle that for us. All we\u2019ll do is sit there. Something we\u2019re good at. <\/p>\n
We don\u2019t open a dictionary or an encyclopedia; we go to our phone and tap the screen and keyboard. Some people find even that effort too arduous; they just yell into their phone or ask Alexa to get them the answer. <\/p>\n
Evolution will kick in eventually. Two thousand years from now we\u2019ll just be heads floating in jars. I wonder if we\u2019ll have enough facial muscles to smile? <\/p>\n