I\u2019m sitting here at the counter in the Harris Diner next to the fire station in Owego. I\u2019ve been watching Sam work his magic at the grill and glancing up at the TV. A politician just finished at a press conference and that got my pen moving. He kept saying, \u201cThat\u2019s a great question!\u201d It\u2019s quite common to hear this when a reporter asks a politician, a public official or a corporate executive a question that requires a clever answer (a believable lie). It\u2019s often followed with a quick introductory lie, \u201cI\u2019m so glad you asked.\u201d<\/p>\n
That two-part response often works. The reporter is flattered; it\u2019s like he scored 100 on a school paper with a star next to it and a handwritten note that said, \u201cNice job, Bobby.\u201d A warm feeling rushes through him and he barely pays attention to the gibberish that follows. But, a good reporter comes back to earth when the talking head has lied so much his growing nose bumps into the microphone and the flame from his pants (by now on fire) threaten to engulf the podium. The reporter\u2019s head eventually comes out of the clouds and he asks an astute follow-up question, one that gets to the core of the lie that\u2019s just been set on the table, like a plump Butterball turkey with the \u201cdone\u201d button sticking out. <\/p>\n
This time the response isn\u2019t a lie; it\u2019s an answer to a question that wasn\u2019t asked, taking the conversation to a safe place for the master of deception. They call this spin, because it makes your head spin. <\/p>\n
Politicians do it all the time; corporate executives and bureaucrats do it too, especially when they get backed into a corner after their organization has done a shameful thing. When the \u201cLie & See if it will Fly\u201d technique and the \u201cChange the Subject\u201d strategies don\u2019t work, they switch to the \u201cLegal\u201d defense: \u201cI can\u2019t answer that question; it would be a violation of the Privacy Regulations,\u201d or, \u201cI can\u2019t discuss it; it\u2019s under investigation and subject to litigation.\u201d <\/p>\n
Another form of this deceptive tactic is the FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) section on most websites, expertly used by bureaucrats and corporations. These aren\u2019t frequently asked questions. These are questions they make up, to shine a positive light on themselves. It\u2019s exactly like the spin politicians use when they ignore a reporter\u2019s question and go on and on about another subject entirely. The real question that should be at the head of the \u201cFAQ\u201d list is, \u201cWhy can\u2019t you provide the proper information and customer service so there is no need for this phony \u201cFAQ\u201d charade?\u201d <\/p>\n
When I have a question, I always end up calling the customer service center and am forced to endure the \u201cEndless Wait & Listen to Horrible Music\u201d technique, designed to get me to hang up. Sometimes it works.<\/p>\n