Old guys are nice. Especially, old guys who\u2019ve graduated from Old Coot University. If you stink, they say, \u201cYou stink!\u201d It could be anything you stink at: mowing the lawn and leaving clippings all over the sidewalk – singing karaoke and making the crowd wince when you screech off key (though you feel you\u2019re headed to stardom) – broil a steak on the grill that you call perfect, but it\u2019s black on both sides, tough as shoe leather and inedible. Most of the time, no one says anything, or if they do, you get, \u201cGood job,\u201d about as meaningful as the \u201cparticipation\u201d trophy kids are handed at the end of a soccer season, a season where every game ended in a tie. But, that\u2019s not what you get from old coots. <\/p>\n
We say, \u201cYou stink!\u201d And, not just at your performance, but when you actually stink, reek, or otherwise offend the olfactory nerves of those around you. It\u2019s a kindness, to be told you stink when you don\u2019t know it. That\u2019s just one of the positive contributions that we old coots make to society. <\/p>\n
We weren\u2019t always as blunt as that: we too, ignored the obvious, in a misguided effort to avoid hurting people\u2019s feelings. But, we eventually learned to say, \u201cYou stink!\u201d when it\u2019s warranted (and ignored by everyone else). We learned the hard way, by hanging around with old men when we were in \u201cold coot\u201d training. <\/p>\n
\u201cHey Lessler! Do you know your sweater\u2019s on inside out and backwards? Ha, Ha, Ha!\u201d – Or, \u201cHey Lessler, did you decide not to comb your hair today or is that your new fashion statement? Ha, Ha, Ha!\u201d – or – \u201cHey Lessler, do you always leave your car door open when you go into a restaurant? Or don\u2019t you have enough strength to shut it and want me to go do it for you. Ha, Ha, Ha!\u201d Saying nothing, or worse, saying, \u201cGood job,\u201d is not a kindness; it\u2019s mean.<\/p>\n
An enlightened person, when confronted with a \u201ctruth\u201d pronouncement from an old coot, says \u201cThank you.\u201d Let\u2019s face it, you want to know this stuff, despite the embarrassment it causes. A little one-on-one embarrassment is better than prancing around with your pants on backwards, coordinated with a wingtip shoe on one foot and a sneaker on the other as you go from table to table in a restaurant, asking if anyone found your glasses while a pair of bifocals rest on the top of your head. The next time an old coot tells you, \u201cYou stink,\u201d (or the equivalent), just say, \u201cThank you.\u201d It will save you from going around with a long stream of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe or an enchanting smile adorned with a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth. \u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n