This is an old gripe. I first wrote about it 12 years ago and nothing\u2019s changed. Just the opposite; it\u2019s gotten worse. NOT ENOUGH SPACE! The space afforded us in most venues is inadequate and getting smaller. My latest adventure, as a giant in a miniature world, was at a Frankie Avalon concert in Daytona Beach. <\/p>\n
I get to these theatre things early so I can claim the armrest. The first one there gets it. The last one has to sit with his hands in his lap. That\u2019s the rule! I often wonder, just who is it that designs the seating pattern for these places. It must be a group of skinny and height-challenged people. They size the seats to fit their derriere. The width of the row is undersized as well, so narrow that everyone has to stand up and do a \u201cTwister\u201d maneuver to let the latecomers pass by to their seats. (Why are late people\u2019s seats always in the middle of the row?) Armrests are so skimpy they barely support a single arm, yet two people are supposed to share them. Irish blood flows in my veins and cursed me with toothpick arms, but even they are too big for armrests in modern theaters. I feel like a gorilla when I plop them down. The bigger question is, \u201cWhy aren\u2019t there two armrests on each seat? <\/p>\n
We lucked out at the Frankie Avalon concert; we beat the crowd to our row. Sure, I had to knock over an old guy with a cane and a \u201cblue hair\u201d in a walker, but we beat them down the aisle. I scrunched down in my seat and took possession of the armrest. It was mine! I wasn\u2019t moving! Or, so I thought. I hadn\u2019t planned on a leg cramp. When I\u2019m stuck in a seat made for a 10-year-old with my knees higher than my hips and jammed into the back of the seat in front of me, my legs complain with a cramp. It\u2019s mostly physical, but I swear it\u2019s also psychological. My subconscious plays games, to make me look foolish. It says (with a chuckle), \u201cI\u2019ll let the old guy get comfortable and then throw a cramp into his leg; it will force him to leap to his feet and try to kick it out. Ha! Ha!\u201d <\/p>\n
My subconscious loves to mess with me. It got me good when I underwent an MRI for the first time. It conjured up an image of being buried alive. It went at me again when I was trapped in an elevator on a cruise ship during a storm. It created a burial at sea image that time. It\u2019s no fun being an old coot with a subconscious that\u2019s a practical jokester. You can easily spot me when it\u2019s on the job, like in a theater. I\u2019m the guy in the middle of the row with beads of sweat on my forehead, a pained expression on my face, sitting next to an exasperated woman who asks, through gritted teeth, \u201cWhat on earth are you up to now?\u201d (Nothing, just trying to endure a bear trap clamped around my leg.)<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve got a crisis on our hands with this lack of space thing. Our bodies are getting bigger; the seats are getting smaller. MacDonald\u2019s is blamed for the obesity wave that\u2019s sweeping across America, yet the miniature thinking designers are making things smaller and smaller. Each new project has less elbowroom. Maybe architects are awarded jobs by how many people they promise to squeeze into a given space. \u201cI can get 1000 seats into that theater!\u201d – \u201cI can get 1500!\u201d The contract goes to the highest bidder. Their minimal space designs are everywhere and not just seating areas. They\u2019ve done a number on parking lots. Our cars are bigger; the spaces are smaller. Body shops love it. I don\u2019t dare bring up the space on airplanes. My head would explode. I think we need a new law. Only people who are 6 feet 5, weigh 300 pounds and drive Hummers can become architects. Maybe then we can fit in. This is an old gripe. I first wrote about it 12 years ago and nothing\u2019s changed. Just the opposite; it\u2019s gotten worse. NOT ENOUGH SPACE!…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-56261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-editorial"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nComments. Complaints. Send to \u2013 mlessler7@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"