The Boy Scout motto is, \u201cBe prepared.\u201d (It\u2019s also the Girl Scout motto, so I was just informed by Mrs. Google). I\u2019ve confiscated the motto for use by my old coot crowd. Our present motto isn\u2019t working so hot, and is quite long. The old coot motto is – \u201cObserve, and then complain about modern society, comparing it to the good old days, to everyone you encounter.\u201d Who wants to be saddled with that as a credo? Nobody wants to hear from us anyway! WE, us old coots, need to take over the \u201cBe Prepared\u201d motto, to reconfigure our persona. <\/p>\n
Those young scouts don\u2019t need it anyway. It doesn\u2019t matter if they\u2019re prepared or not \u2013 they are well equipped to deal with whatever fate throws their way. They\u2019re limber and fit, can hear and see clearly, have reflexes that respond to stimuli, have intact memories, cognitive brain function and many, many attributes that us old coots lost so long ago we scarcely remember ever having them. <\/p>\n
Staking a claim to the “Be Prepared\u201d motto will make up for our shortcomings and help steer us through the daily dangers that lie in wait. Like the scouts, we have a uniform that identifies us to the world: big, off-white, leather-like, Velcro fastened sneakers \u2013 pants that are belted just below the rib cage \u2013 shirts that proclaim, \u201cOld guys rule,\u201d or some such idiotic sentiment \u2013 soiled, worn out baseball caps with Mickey Mantle\u2019s #7 stitched onto the brim, or some other player from the inky dark shadows of the past \u2013 glasses with lenses the size of bagels, and coolest of all, flip phones in a case fastened to our belts, right next to our sun glasses holder. <\/p>\n
That paraphernalia is a good start. I\u2019ve added a shoulder bag to my gear. It contains band-aids, a sign that says, \u201cI\u2019m lost; help me get home.\u201d It\u2019s handy to have on a bad memory day, when I wander into a place that doesn\u2019t look familiar. A can of pepper spray is in the bag too, in case a mugger thinks I\u2019m an easy target and makes a play for my $19 flip phone. There is a problem with this plan; I\u2019ll have to ask the mugger to hang on a minute, and then hope he waits while I fumble through my bag for the spray. I have a series of fake names at the ready too, for when I get in a jam. Like the day I was accosted by a store manager for careening into a stack of merchandise at the end of an aisle and the sound of broken glass echoed through the store. That time I pulled out \u201cJim Steel.\u201d It\u2019s served me well on several occasions. A pen and notebook are in my bag too, in case I stumble on something to write about. That\u2019s what I tell myself, but mostly I use it to write down the names of people and places I encounter for the first time. I\u2019m tired of calling people Governor, Pal, Big Guy, Beautiful and Kid. And, referring to places in descriptive terms, not by their actual name: \u201cThat green building where the Smith\u2019s used to have a candy store,\u201d or \u201cThat place on the corner where Newberry\u2019s used to be.\u201d <\/p>\n