I\u2019m getting ready to go on a short vacation. To Virginia. For Larissa Dobransky\u2019s wedding. I still think of her as the little kid who lived next door. I should update my perspective and think of her as Doctor Larissa Dobransky. I bet she doesn\u2019t respond to her elderly patients like the medical people I deal with. If I complain that my arm or leg is doing something weird, or something else on this \u201cvehicle\u201d I\u2019m walking around in, I always get, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to expect that at your age.\u201d I\u2019m going to ask her about that, if I get a chance. None of us old guys and gals expected any of this stuff. Anyhow, my wife thinks we\u2019re all packed. Dresses, suits and casual clothes. But, that\u2019s not enough for an old coot. I need special old coot gear.<\/p>\n
Picture this! Some old guy asleep in a lounge chair by the swimming pool in a swanky hotel, flat on his back, arms akimbo, eyes closed, mouth wide open and snoring as loud as a leaf blower. I plan to pack in my old coot kit, a baseball hat, a newspaper, an operating room mask and the like so my wife will have something to cover my face with when I drift into la la land. She can activate the blue tooth portable speaker I\u2019m bringing and play loud music to drown out my snoring. Some old coots use a straw hat to cover their whole face and quiet the noise; I find them awkward to carry around and if you do so by wearing it on your head, you become one of those quirky old guys in a straw hat. I\u2019m leaving mine at home.<\/p>\n
I also plan to bring a few work zone cones to place around my lounge chair in case I get hit with a leg cramp while I\u2019m sleeping and leap up and do the \u201ckick your leg and spin around\u201d dance to free my leg from it. I don\u2019t want to knock anyone into the pool. This should keep people safely out of the cramp zone.<\/p>\n
My wife doesn\u2019t know it, but I\u2019ve made a reservation to rent a baby stroller. I can use it to push around my old coot vacation gear. I\u2019m hoping to rent a baby too, to put in the stroller; it will distract other hotel guests from looking me over too closely and thinking, or saying, \u201cWhat\u2019s an old coot like that doing at the swimming pool?\u201d It will transform my image into a positive one, that of a doting grandfather (or, great grandfather). If I can\u2019t get a baby, a small dog will work. But, not a little puppy; it would draw too much attention and I\u2019ll never get to nap. It ain\u2019t easy going on a vacation when you\u2019re an old coot. (But, I guess I have to expect that at my age.) \u00a0Congratulations to Larissa Dobransky and Ryan Stuhlreyer on your September nuptials.<\/p>\n
Comments. Complaints. Leave at mlessler7@gmail.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m getting ready to go on a short vacation. To Virginia. For Larissa Dobransky\u2019s wedding. I still think of her as the little kid who…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-52092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-editorial"],"yoast_head":"\n