Out loud \u2013 \u201cWow! You\u2019re 50? You sure don\u2019t look it!\u201d<\/p>\n
Unspoken \u2013 \u201cWho cares!\u201d<\/p>\n
Out loud \u2013 \u201cWow! You gave up cream in your coffee and lost 20 pounds in a month? You look so slim.\u201d<\/p>\n
Unspoken \u2013 \u201cWho cares!\u201d<\/p>\n
Out loud \u2013 You broke a tooth on a popcorn kernel and your dentist fixed it for $50?\u201d<\/p>\n
Unspoken \u2013 \u201cWho cares!\u201d (So, sue me; I had to throw in one example for my old coot crowd<\/i>.)<\/p>\n
We humans, at least those of us of old coot vintage, old enough to finally admit the ugly truth, aren\u2019t particularly pleased to hear you tell of your good fortune. No matter how much we seem to fuss and fawn over you at the time. It\u2019s part of the \u201csocial lies\u201d that civilized people are guilty of, until they become an old coot like me. That\u2019s when freedom really rings.<\/p>\n
No, what we really want to hear is how bad it was, that trip to the dentist with the broken tooth that ended up in a root canal and a crown to the tune of $3500. And, then it broke again three weeks later.<\/p>\n
And, when you tell us you\u2019re 50, we can snicker to ourselves, because you really look 20 years older. And, that\u2019s not all that makes us happy. We\u2019re also happy because you hadn\u2019t asked us to guess how old you were. Even an old coot can feel embarrassment.<\/p>\n
And, instead of remarking how trim you look 1 month after giving up cream in your coffee, we\u2019d rather be eavesdropping on some other old coot, asking you when you are due.<\/p>\n
These are the conversations we love, the people we love! People like us. Even Oprah joined our fold when she lost all that weight on her TV show and then gained it right back, plus some. In spite of having a nutritionist, a private chef and a personal trainer at her disposal. Oh sure, the audience cheered when she did the big reveal on stage, to show how much she\u2019d lost. Phony cheers! The real ones went up when the pictures of a full sized Oprah graced the covers of the tabloids in the aisles by the check out counters in grocery stores. Now she\u2019s back at it again, with a 33% stake in Weight Watchers. We can\u2019t wait to see the outcome. Not the one where she announces her weight loss success, the one a year later, when she gains it all back. Like we would.<\/p>\n
What can I say? I\u2019m human. Flawed. It takes being an old coot to finally admit it.<\/p>\n