He says, “I\u2019m John.” \u2013 I say, \u201cHi; I\u2019m the Old Coot.\u201d I stare at him for a minute and then ask, \u201cWhat was your name again?\u201d An invisible bubble appears over his head, like the ones you see in cartoons; it reads, \u201cFor less than two seconds, this old coot can\u2019t recall my name, the most common name in the U.S.A. How could he forget so fast?\u201d We are always astounded when someone forgets our name, but not at all cognizant that we don\u2019t remember their name.<\/p>\n
Why is it so hard to get someone\u2019s name when we meet them for the first time? And then so hard to understand why they don\u2019t remember our name? Is it because we\u2019re concentrating on not missing their hand when reaching out to shake? Is it because we\u2019re distracted, wondering if that piece of spinach is still stuck in our teeth? Or, is it because we\u2019re fixated on their hair, wondering if it\u2019s a rug or a weave? There has to be something to explain our failure to accomplish so simple a task.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s incurable for me, this memory failure. Even though I\u2019ve been to several seminars where the topic of how to remember someone\u2019s name was painstakingly laid out for the attendees. I was taught to repeat the person\u2019s name, to say it back to them (It\u2019s so nice to meet you John.) to use it several times in small talk. (John, where are you from? Where do you work John? Are you from around here John?) People are flattered when they hear you say their name, but most of the time, we end up faking it. I myself, muffle something indistinguishable. Or, like a lot of my old coot friends, I promote the person to a distinguished position in the social order: Governor, General, Mayor, Professor or some such flattering title that I hope will mask my ignorance.<\/p>\n
There has to be a reason why many of us can\u2019t remember a person\u2019s name five seconds after being introduced. It\u2019s not an age thing or an old coot thing. Nor, is it a male thing, though most husbands turn to their wives immediately after being introduced to someone and whisper out of the side of their mouth, \u201cWhat were their names?\u201d And, then get irritated because the wife didn\u2019t do any better than they did. Which is really baffling, since she\u2019s the one who dragged them to the event in the first place. It\u2019s just another mystery of the human condition I\u2019ll never figure out. I expect to get creamed at the upcoming social affairs now that we are into the holiday season. I\u2019ll tell myself, Listen! Focus! Say the person\u2019s name! Repeat it! But in reality, I expect to elect a sea of Governors and Mayors, and promote a ton of Generals over the next several weeks. How will you do?<\/p>\n
Comments? Questions? Send to mlessler7@gmail.com.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
He says, “I\u2019m John.” \u2013 I say, \u201cHi; I\u2019m the Old Coot.\u201d I stare at him for a minute and then ask, \u201cWhat was your…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47879","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-editorial"],"yoast_head":"\n