She says, \u201cThe washing machine is making a funny noise!\u201d Husbands hate \u201cfunny noise\u201d statements: Does the car sound funny to you? \u2013 Do you hear that funny noise in the wall? \u2013 Did the TV sound funny when it came on? We know what a funny noise question means. We\u2019ll have to do something unpleasant. Or worse, we\u2019ll have to spend money.<\/p>\n
So, we lie! \u201cThe car always sounds like that; you never noticed because the radio was turned up too high.\u201d \u2013 \u201cThat gnawing noise in the wall is just a loose piece of siding moving in the breeze.\u201d (It\u2019s ironic that noises in the wall are only heard at night when you\u2019re snuggled down under the covers). Loose siding? We know full well it\u2019s a chipmunk or a mouse or a bat. We\u2019re ready for the bat; we have a tennis racquet hidden under the bed. The mouse and the chipmunk are another story all together. Still, we lie. Hoping against hope it will go away and we can put off dealing with it for another day or two.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s even worse these days, with electronic tattle tales to back up a funny noise statement. Smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors, beeping security systems. Even the car is our enemy in deflecting funny noise questions. That darn \u201ccheck engine\u201d light glares up from the dash. It\u2019s hard to discredit using a \u201cfaulty bulb\u201d excuse. Yet, we try. The last time I did, the light didn\u2019t just turn on, it started blinking. My lies went through the roof, but it ended up costing me $1,700. If I\u2019d only paid attention (for once) to the funny noise statement or the check engine light.<\/p>\n
I can\u2019t help it. I have to lie. I know what funny noises really mean: the skunk I had to trap in the basement and relocate without getting sprayed, the bevy of chimney swifts that emerged from the fireplace, perched on the curtains and treated the room to an array of white speckled decorations, the chipmunk trap I had to purchase and use to relocate a lovely couple to a nice spot in the woods, the new fan motor for the refrigerator, the new washing machine, re-plumbing the downstairs toilet and, of course, the $1,700 car repair. You\u2019d think that would be enough evidence to convince me to listen up when a \u201cfunny noise\u201d statement comes my way.<\/p>\n
But, I\u2019ve learned nothing. When the water from the Susquehanna came across Front Street and was making a funny noise by the curb in front of our house in 2011, my lies were spectacular. \u201cWe don\u2019t need to pull up the rugs and move the furniture to the second floor. We didn\u2019t get a drop of water in 2006 and that was a 100-year flood. It\u2019s only been five years. This will stop at the curb too.\u201d Wrong again! Will I ever learn? Today, the dryer stopped producing heat, but at least it didn\u2019t make a funny noise. A lie won\u2019t save me, but I\u2019m trying to come up with one just in case.<\/p>\n
Complaints? Send them to mlessler7@gmail.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
She says, \u201cThe washing machine is making a funny noise!\u201d Husbands hate \u201cfunny noise\u201d statements: Does the car sound funny to you? \u2013 Do you…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-editorial"],"yoast_head":"\n