By Merlin Lessler —<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a tough world for parents these days. They try to do the right thing, keep their little ones safe, but they get caught in ever-changing \u201cofficial\u201d advice: face the child forward in a car seat – face the child back – at 40 pounds you can use the seat belt – don\u2019t use the seat belt until he\u2019s eight – use the airbag – turn off the airbag. It never ends. We never seem to do it right. It\u2019s especially hard on grandparents; especially old coot grandparents who are super skeptical of \u201cofficial\u201d advice. We end up getting scolded by both the media and our grandchildren\u2019s parents. <\/p>\n
It\u2019s not our fault. We grew up in cars that didn\u2019t have seat belts, often sitting in the front seat between Mom and Dad in a canvas pouch hooked over the seat with a toy steering wheel in front of us, directly in line between our body and the dashboard. I can only imagine how that would have worked out in a crash. I vividly remember sitting in mine, turning the wheel to the left when my father turned his, honking the horn, moving the shift lever back and forth. Don\u2019t ask me how I remember something from so long ago, yet I can\u2019t remember to mail the letters in my pocket when I walk to town. <\/p>\n
We were protected back then, even though we didn\u2019t have proper car seats, airbags, or seat belts. We had Mom\u2019s right arm. The second she slammed on the brakes, it shot out and prevented us from hurtling into the dash. It\u2019s hard to imagine that those little, slim, feminine arms were strong enough to hold back a child hurtling forward at 30 miles per hour, but they were. Scientists and public officials say it isn\u2019t possible. They also claim it\u2019s impossible for those same arms to pick up the front end of a car that sits atop a child, but it happens all the time. It\u2019s the mother tiger factor. <\/p>\n
So, what\u2019s a parent to do? Don\u2019t ask me. I\u2019m the guy who drove around with my kids in the back seat (and the compartment behind it) in a VW Beetle, skidding around a shopping plaza parking lot making \u201cdonuts\u201d in the freshly fallen snow. I\u2019m the guy who made plaster casts for my daughters to get them to stop jumping out of trees, trying to break their arms so they could wear a cast to school and look \u201ccool.\u201d (It worked, by the way; it only took two days for them to beg me to cut them off.)<\/p>\n
No, don\u2019t ask me, or any other old coot what to do about car seats. Or, bike helmets, shin and elbow pads or any other politically correct child safety device. We grew up stupid (and unprotected) and stayed that way. <\/p>\n