By Merlin Lessler —<\/p>\n
When I was younger, in my sixties, my wife gave me a Fitbit for Christmas. It was an early version; it didn\u2019t do all the stuff they do today. I used it to count steps and check my heart rate. Its purpose was to nag me until I moved my body.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you don\u2019t move it, you will lose it.\u201d<\/p>\n
True? It was pretty effective for several years. Eventually, after more than a decade, I learned that even if you move it, you still lose it, just at a slower rate. Who\u2019s kidding who?<\/p>\n
Even so, that primitive step counter was highly effective in developing \u201cmove\u201d habits. Now, I need a different type of artificial intelligence monitoring me. A device that can listen to what I say and count several select old man phrases. A sentence that starts with, \u201cI used to\u2026..\u201d for instance. Nobody cares what you \u201cused\u201d to do.<\/p>\n
Even worse are sentences that start with, \u201cI shudda,\u201d as in, \u201cI should have done X, Y, or Z.\u201d Shudda is a regret that nobody cares about but you.<\/p>\n
This Fitbit phrase monitor that I envision will keep score as I go through the day and sound an alarm when I surpass a preset limit. It will also produce weekly charts to remind me to work harder to eliminate those \u201ctaboo\u201d phrases.<\/p>\n
Eventually, it will help me to be somewhat more welcome in group conversations. It might even stop people from looking at their watches when I babble out of control and then say, \u201cOh gosh; I have to run.\u201d<\/p>\n
There are a few other phrases that will be monitored, such as: \u201cWhat\u2019s his name?\u201d and \u201cThey\u201d say\u2026 Who are \u201cthey\u201d by the way? And when did \u201cthey\u201d become the ultimate authority?<\/p>\n
I have to stop right here; I\u2019ve already exceeded my daily quota, and it\u2019s only 10 a.m.<\/p>\n